


Who Would Sign Himself A Candidate for My Affections?

by xslytherclawx



Series: ô saisons, ô châteaux (ravenclaw au) [14]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Coming Out, Found Family, Friendship, Gay Male Character, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jewish Character, Jewish Holidays, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Mutual Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Pining, Regulus Black-centric, Running Away, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-01
Updated: 2020-02-22
Packaged: 2020-10-04 22:54:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 36,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20478818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xslytherclawx/pseuds/xslytherclawx
Summary: Regulus always thought he'd bide his time until he came of age, but the summer after his fourth year, it became clear that that was no longer an option.Fifth year is supposed to be stressful enough with O.W.L.s.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

>   
_Whoever you are holding me now in hand,_  
_Without one thing all will be useless,_  
_I give you fair warning before you attempt me further,_  
_I am not what you supposed, but far different._  

> 
>   
_Who is he that would become my follower?_   
_Who would sign himself a candidate for my affections?_   

> 
>   
_The way is suspicious, the result uncertain, perhaps destructive,_   
_You would have to give up all else, I alone would expect to be your sole and exclusive standard,_   
_Your novitiate would even then be long and exhausting,_   
_The whole past theory of your life and all conformity to the lives around you would have to be abandon'd,_   
_Therefore release me now before troubling yourself any further, let go your hand from my shoulders,_   
_Put me down and depart on your way._   

> 
> \- Walt Whitman, from "Calamus" (1860)
> 
> * * *
> 
> Fifth year starts early this year. The first chapter follows immediately after [The Result Uncertain](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20367346).
> 
> And, yes, the M rating is intentional - as are the additional tags to be added.

Barely a week into summer holidays, Sirius burst into Regulus’s room without knocking. Regulus was sat at his desk, working on homework, as the family owl had  _ mysteriously _ vanished, and no owls seemed to be coming in. Regulus certainly wasn’t being allowed further than the garden walls. So he sat and did his homework and bided his time. If his parents wouldn’t relent, well, summer holidays would come to an end eventually.

Sirius had been acting like some sort of caged hippogriff, and had already been dealt some nasty blows by their mother. Regulus knew in his heart that his brother was not going to return to their family home after he turned seventeen, and wondered what that meant for him.

He hadn’t really expected differently, if he were honest. His parents had gotten steadily worse over the years, and after not coming home for holidays and everything Sirius had done (of which, Regulus knew, his parents had been informed) – and even Regulus refusing to out his brother until some Slytherin had written someone who’d run straight to their parents. He’d known it would be terrible, but that didn’t mean he’d fully been prepared for the extent of it.

At this point, his parents inviting the Rosiers over would have been a welcome distraction, but he couldn’t let himself think that way, no matter how attracted he knew he was to Evan Rosier.

“Reg!” Sirius whispered, slamming the door behind him.

Regulus’s room was one of two rooms in the house without portraits – the other was Sirius’s. Regulus rather thought it was meant to lull them into a false sense of security, that there had to be some other ways of spying on them in the places they thought safe.

Sirius, evidently, felt the same way, because he cast a number of anti-eavesdropping charms before continuing. “James has been talking to me on the mirror, and I think… you’ll want to see this.”

Sirius thrust the mirror into Regulus’s hands, only for Regulus to see Max looking back at him.  _ “Max?” _ he asked, sure he was hallucinating.

“Reg! So, all right, I’m at the Potters’...”

“Why are  _ you _ at the Potters’?”

“We need you to run away,” Max said. “James and Remus and I – we’ve talked it over with our parents – well, mine and James’s, I’ve no idea where Remus’s parents are – and we need you to run away.”

Regulus looked from Max to his brother, who flopped down on his bed. “Told you he wouldn’t go for it, Prongs!” Sirius called. “Even his boyfriend can’t convince him.”

“Max is not my boyfriend!” Regulus said, while Max said something to the same effect. Of course, the idea of  _ Max _ being his boyfriend… no, he couldn’t let himself think about that. Max was his best friend. 

“We have a plan,” Max said.

But Max had always been flighty and impulsive, and teamed up with  _ Potter… _ “What’s Isaac think?”

“He’s on holiday in Haifa,” Max said, “I’ve written him, but he hasn’t written back yet.”

Regulus looked back to his brother. “Did you put them up to this?”

“Absolutely not,” Sirius said. “I planned on biding my time until I was seventeen and then kidnapping you.”

“I  _ told _ you!” came Potter’s voice from the other end.

“Listen,” Max said. “Reg… it needs to look like you and Sirius ran away of your own accord. Maybe even leave a note. Mr. Potter says once you’re off the family tree, you’ll be safe.”

_ Off the family tree _ . Regulus felt slightly ill at the thought. He knew it would happen eventually, because he was gay, but he’d thought he could just bide his time and do it once he was of age and had a means of providing for himself.

“Reg,” Max said in that low, calming voice he somehow always knew to use when Regulus felt ill. “If you don’t… beyond what your parents will do to you… you’ll have to marry some pureblood witch and have pureblood children and continue to rub elbows with Slytherins… they won’t… let you live your own life, and you know that.”

“Besides,” Sirius said from Regulus’s bed, “once they kick it, we’ll still get our inheritance. We’re the last ones. They’re not going to leave anything to Bellatrix or Narcissa, not with who they married. They’d rather it revert to us.”

That was a big gamble. Regulus had never been fond of gambling. “What makes you think they won’t go after us?” This was, truthfully, his greatest concern. Being disowned, he thought he could handle – but if they came after him, things could get worse than he could possibly imagine.

“It’d cause a scandal,” Sirius said from the bed. “It’s brilliant. Mum and Dad would rather we were dead to them than gay,  _ or _ blood traitors, let alone both… and in Gryffindor and Ravenclaw besides. It’s why Cygnus and Druella let Andromeda go.”

“Andromeda married a Muggleborn.”

“I don’t think they think that’s any worse than being gay,” Sirius said.

Regulus didn’t deny being gay, and the thought of being with a witch… he sat back down at his desk chair. There was no way he could win. He’d be miserable one way, and disowned the other. Even if his parents sent someone after him – he had to get out.

“Better disowned and disinherited and happy than falling in line just to be miserable,” Sirius said. “Besides… Uncle Alphard will probably help.”

Because Uncle Alphard was gay. He hadn’t been disowned, but the line hadn’t been down to him. If he and Sirius had been girls… well, he doubted he’d know the name Alphard at all. He was certain his family would pressure Uncle Alphard to get married and have children, but that wasn’t Regulus’s problem. Regulus couldn’t  _ let _ it become his problem; after all, Uncle Alphard himself had encouraged Regulus to get out.

“All right,” Regulus said slowly. “What do we do?”

“I’d forgotten Isaac was on holiday, at first,” Max said, “but that’s all the same. My brother Jacob lives in London, remember? He’s agreed to let you go to him, and then he’ll get you to my parents.”

“How do I find Jacob?” Regulus asked. He knew Jacob lived with his wife and children somewhere in London – he rather thought not terribly far from Grimmauld Place – but he’d never been to Jacob’s house (was it even a house? For all Regulus knew, Max’s brother lived in a flat).

“Well,” Max said, “first, you’ll need your brooms.”

* * *

> _ Mum and Dad –  _
> 
> _ I’m gay. I can’t be the heir you deserve. Please don’t try to find me.  _
> 
> _ Regulus Arcturus Black. _

It hadn’t been the way Regulus had imagined leaving, but there was something thrilling about packing all of his things into a bag with some undetectable expansion and featherlight charms on it, breaking into the broom shed with Sirius, taking their brooms, casting disillusionment charms on each other, and taking off for Jacob Scamander’s rooftop terrace in Golders Green.

Jacob was there to greet them after the admittedly short flight. He lifted their charms, as Regulus knew better by now than to try underage magic around the Scamanders. The entire family had far too much of a Hufflepuff mentality to allow underage magic even when there were more than enough adults around for it to go undetected. Regulus stowed his broom carefully in his bag.

“It’s good to see you, Regulus,” Jacob said with a smile and a hug. He turned then to Sirius. “And you must be Sirius! It’s great to meet you.”

Sirius shook Jacob’s hand. “Thanks for this, mate,” he said, although Jacob was  _ far _ too old for either of them to be calling him  _ mate _ .

Jacob didn’t seem offended, for his part. “Let’s get inside.” He led them through a door and into a friendly-looking living room. “The children are in bed,” Jacob said, “and my wife is sitting with our son until he falls asleep. He’s – at a rough age.”

Regulus didn’t remember baby Rolf being too fussy barely two months ago, but he knew there was every chance that Jacob hadn’t told his wife or children that he was helping two underage wizards run away from home. And, well, Regulus couldn’t blame him. Even if he had sort of hoped to see Gina again.

“We stop by a lot in the summer, so I’m sure you’ll see more of us,” Jacob said. “From here, though, we’ll use the Floo. It’s just the points that are monitored, really – and you’ll be going to my parents’ house and there’s enough travel between our two fireplaces that no one at the Ministry will bat an eye at the activity, even this late. The direction is ‘Scamander residence, Dorset’.”

He showed them to the fireplace. “I really do wish you both the best, and I wish we were speaking under better circumstances,” Jacob said. He picked a jar of Floo powder up from the mantel and offered it to Regulus and Sirius.

Regulus went first, and he breathed a sigh of relief when he emerged from the fireplace into the Scamander home. He moved aside to allow Sirius through, and didn’t even see Max until he was already enveloped in a hug. “I’m  _ so _ glad you’re okay,” Max said.

“Thank you,” Regulus said, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted all at once.

He felt the soot vanish from him and looked over to see his brother.

“We thought it best if you spend the night here, because it’s so late,” Max said. “My parents are in the kitchen… they wanted to make sure you ate.”

“Max,” Regulus said, “you have  _ no idea _ how much I’ve missed you.”

“I think I have some idea,” Max said softly. He let go of Regulus – had they been hugging that long? – and Regulus, unwilling to completely let go of Max, grabbed his hand.

If Sirius had opinions about that (and Regulus thought he would), he was quiet about it on the way to the kitchen. 

Max’s parents were sitting at the kitchen table. There was a plate of sandwiches in the middle of the table, and Regulus realised how hungry he was. “Thank you so much for this, Mr. and Mrs. – I mean, Newt and Tina.” It was still strange that Max’s parents insisted on being called by their first names, but he did as they asked.

“Of course,” Newt said. “It was the least we could do, really.”

“Why don’t you two sit and eat?” Tina said. She glanced at Max. “Max, you can have a sandwich, too, even though I know you just ate dinner two hours ago.”

Max sat down at the table, so Regulus sat down next to him. After a moment, Sirius sat down as well. Max was, predictably, the first to reach for a sandwich, and then passed the plate to Regulus.

“Fleamont and Euphemia will be here in the morning, just after breakfast,” Tina said as Regulus nibbled at his sandwich. “As for tonight, Regulus, as you know, we have one guest room, so we thought that you could share with Max for tonight, and Sirius can take the guest room.”

Sirius raised an eyebrow at that and looked to Regulus. Regulus felt his face heat up, but he knew he’d rather share with Max than Sirius. Even if he did fancy Max and was getting worse and worse at hiding it.

“All right,” Regulus said. 

“We’ll try not to stay up all night,” Max said.

Tina and Newt both gave him a stern look. 

“Fine,” Max said. “We  _ won’t _ stay up all night. Honestly, we share a room most of the year, anyway, and we always manage to sleep.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus talks to Max, and we meet the Potters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is uhhh a _lot_

“Max,” Regulus said quietly after they’d settled into his bed. “I need to tell you something.”

“What is it?” Max asked, his bright blue eyes meeting Regulus’s. 

Regulus swallowed down the lump in his throat. He had to say it, and he _ knew_, logically, that Max wouldn’t mind – _ he _ was gay, so why would he _ mind _ that Regulus was, too? Max could, evidently, tell that Regulus was feeling anxious, because he started carding his fingers through Regulus’s hair. 

“I’m gay,” Regulus said.

Max clearly hadn’t expected that, because his hand stilled for just a second or two before going back to his ministrations. He didn’t say that he knew; instead, he said, “Oh.”

“And I guess… I’ve _ known _ for about a year now, maybe a year and a half.”

Max furrowed his brows. “Why didn’t you tell me? That’s a _ lot _ to keep to yourself for that long, and you’ve known that _ I’m _ gay for over a year.”

“Because,” Regulus said, “I didn’t _ want _ to be. I thought… I could still marry some pureblood witch and carry on the family line. I’d already… disappointed my family so much that I couldn’t…”

Max scooted closer to him. “Reg…”

“I know leaving was the best option – the _ only _ option. But it’s still… turning my back on everything I’ve ever known. But I couldn’t – I couldn’t _ do _ it. Not anymore.”

“You know I’m here for you. And Isaac, too, and Emmeline and Dirk and Lily.”

“I know,” Regulus said, and the thought of his friends supporting him did make him feel a little better. “Sirius knows. I didn’t – I never _ told _ him, but he knows.” He stopped for a moment. “I should probably actually tell him.”

“How did you… I mean, your family is so… did you _ always _ sort of…?”

Regulus knew that he didn’t have to answer that if he didn’t want to. It was _ Max_. But he found that he wanted to. “I honestly… completely thought I was straight, not a doubt in my mind, until… you remember Isaac’s bar mitzvah?”

“We were fighting,” Max said.

“About my brother being gay and me being homophobic,” Regulus said. Max winced, and Regulus couldn’t help but add, “No, no, don’t feel bad. He _ is _ gay and I _ was _ being homophobic.”

“Because _ you _ were _ gay,” _ Max said, “and your family…”

“And _ you _ were gay, and you _ knew _ you were gay, and Max, I’m _ so _ sorry for making you uncomfortable and for hurting you.”

Max shrugged. “Reg, that was _ years _ ago. It’s fine; I’ve gotten over it. I know you’d never knowingly hurt me.”

“Max, without you…” Regulus said, “when you said, when we were on those swings, that… because you said… I could never picture being with another boy… and that… it _ affected _ me. Because I _ could _ picture it.”

“Oh,” Max said.

“And I repressed it, of course, because what else could I do? I’m no Gryffindor. But over the years… it became clearer that I _ did _ want to be with other boys, and not… not with girls. I tried to tell myself that maybe I could only be attracted to pureblood girls, but that was bollocks. Every boy in our year fancied Emmeline at one point, except us, and I spent whole afternoons by the lake revising with her and felt… nothing.”

“Then… in third year, when your parents tried to get you engaged…”

Regulus nodded. “I didn’t _ know _ at that point, but… that’s when I started to realise that maybe something was off. Because those were _ all _ proper pureblood girls, everything I _ should _ have wanted, and it made me extremely anxious. A-and throw in the fact that I nearly kissed Evan Rosier – because I _ did _ nearly kiss him, and _ would have _ if Sirius hadn't come bursting in when he had… But I… repressed it.”

“Reg…”

“I don’t know how much longer I could have repressed it. But… tonight, I decided… I’m done. There’s no point in pretending I’m not gay anymore.”

“Well, you know I love you, and that I’ll always be here for you.” 

Regulus wrapped an arm around Max. “I know.” 

* * *

The Potters did indeed come by after breakfast. Regulus still wasn’t quite sure what to anticipate. It hadn’t completely sunk in yet that he and Sirius had run away from home, but something told him that actually moving in with the Potters instead of spending another night in Max’s bed might just do the trick.

He and Max sat on the sofa in the living room, each with their backs against the arms of the sofa. Their legs were a tangled mess, and it should have, by all accounts, been very uncomfortable, but Regulus didn’t want to move. 

He knew that he was lucky that the Potters were even willing to take Sirius in, much less himself, but if he were honest, he really would have rather stayed with Max. He’d never been fond of James Potter, after all, and Max was one of the few people he could be himself around.

He supposed he could ask, and the worst that could happen would be being told no (and he’d known the Scamanders long enough to know they’d be nothing but kind about it), but he didn’t think he had it in him to do so. Besides, would it really be that terrible at the Potters’?

The Potters came in through the front door, and while Regulus knew it was rude, he didn’t rise to greet them. From the sounds of it, Sirius was already talking their ears off, anyway, and Regulus really didn’t want to leave Max.

He knew that he could visit, but it wouldn’t be the same.

“Reg!” Sirius called. “Mr. and Mrs. Potter are here!”

Regulus exchanged a look with Max. “You can always visit,” Max said. “We’re a thirty minute walk away. And there’s always Floo.”

“Yeah,” Regulus said.

“I think I’ll actually be furious if you don’t come by at least twice a week.”

Seeing Max twice a week during the summer was more than Regulus had ever hoped for. He still couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. He didn’t think the Potters would have any issue with letting him visit. To hear Max say it, they were old family friends. It was slightly terrifying to think that Max had grown up alongside James Potter, but it meant that the Potters already knew and trusted the Scamanders.

“I think Floo works both ways.”

“Oh, _ believe me,” _ Max said. “If you don’t come over here, I _ will _ go over there.”

“I’m holding you to that,” Regulus said.

He heard Sirius scoff. “Don’t mind them, Mr. and Mrs. P; they’re boyfriends.”

“We are _ not _ dating!” Regulus snapped at his brother. 

“Honestly, Sirius, your insistence on that just raises questions about you and James,” Max said.

Regulus laughed and tried to disentangle himself from Max, but somehow they ended up falling off of the sofa into an even bigger tangle of limbs with Regulus on top of Max. He hesitated, but after a second managed to gather his wits enough to stand up. He offered a hand to Max, who took it.

“Sure,” Sirius said. “You’re _ not _ dating.”

“We’re not,” Max said. 

“I don’t know what we’d have to do to convince you,” Regulus said. “We fell, and I helped him up. I’m sorry if you don’t do that for your friends, but I’d do – the same for any of mine.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Gay.”

Mr. and Mrs. Potter looked horrified, but Regulus just rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I am, but just because you wish _ you _ were dating _ Lupin _ doesn’t mean that _ I’m _ dating _ Max.” _

“I don’t – I’m not –” Sirius practically growled, and Regulus had enough sense to dart out of the way. 

“It’s easy enough to stop projecting your issues onto me.” Sirius caught his arm, and Regulus tried to worm his way out of his grip. He didn’t think Sirius would get actually _ violent _ with him, but Sirius grabbing him was almost never a good thing.

“Did you say you’re _ gay?” _

“Technically,” Regulus said, finally wrenching free. _ “You _ said I was gay, and I agreed.”

“Fuck, Reg,” Sirius said.

“It’s not like you didn’t _ know.” _

Sirius turned on Max. “Did _ you _ know?”

Max shrugged. “I had – suspicions, of course, but he only just told me last night.”

“You told _ Scamander _ before _ me? _ I’m your only brother!”

“I’m sure you told James Potter and Remus Lupin before you told me,” Regulus said. “Max is my _ best friend.” _

Sirius huffed, and although he was couching it in dramatics, Regulus could tell that he was actually hurt by this. Honestly, what was with him? 

Max looked like he was about to say something, but he hugged Regulus instead. “You should probably get going. Knowing Mr. and Mrs. Potter, they’ve probably got loads planned for you two before lunch.”

“You can come, too, Max,” Mrs. Potter said. 

Max looked from Mrs. and Mr. Potter to Regulus. “Really?”

“If your parents say it’s okay,” Mr. Potter said.

“Let me ask! Besides, they probably want to say goodbye to Reg and Sirius, anyway.”

Without waiting for a response, Max let go of Regulus and darted off.

Regulus looked to Mr. and Mrs. Potter. “I’m – sorry for all that. I should have properly introduced myself. I’m Regulus.”

“I’m Euphemia, and this is Fleamont,” Mrs. Potter said. “You’re welcome to call us whatever you’d like.”

“You _ do _ look familiar, Regulus,” Mr. Potter said.

“We _ are _ related,” Sirius said.

“No, that’s not it,” Mr. Potter said.

“I think I saw you at Max’s bar mitzvah two summers ago,” Regulus said.

“Yes,” Mr. Potter said, lighting up. “That’s it exactly!”

“Mum and Dad said I can come over!” Max called from upstairs. He ran down the stairs and hugged Regulus again. “So that’ll be fun, right?”

“Definitely,” Regulus said.

Newt and Tina came down the stairs after a few seconds. They greeted Mr. and Mrs. Potter, and Tina said, “Max’s curfew is ten p.m., but if he insists on spending the night, just send an owl.”

“Wait, I can spend the night?” Max asked.

“If Euphemia and Fleamont allow it.”

Mr. and Mrs. Potter exchanged a look. “We’ll see how Regulus gets settled in,” Mr. Potter said. “And then we can see.”

* * *

They apparated to the Potters’ estate. Sirius settled right in, but Regulus found himself thrown by the extravagance of it all. It was different to Grimmauld Place, and completely different from the Scamanders’ cozy home.

It was strange to think that the Potters only had one child and yet this gigantic house. Regulus was suddenly struck by the idea that it must get very lonely in such a large house.

James Potter was waiting in the foyer, and bounded right over to Sirius. He didn’t seem to pay Max any more than a cursory glance. But then Sirius said, “Reggie’s boyfriend wanted to come.”

“We’re not dating,” Max said.

_ “Don’t _ call me that!” Regulus snapped. “Honestly, can you last five minutes without antagonizing me?”

“James, why don’t you show Sirius to his room?” Mrs. Potter asked. “We can show Regulus to his.”

“Sure thing, Mum,” James said. He led Sirius off, and Regulus wasn’t sure what to do. 

Max reached for Regulus’s hand and squeezed it. Regulus found himself glad for the comfort, but it was more than that. He wondered, for the first time, if, now that he was out of his parents’ house, he could have a proper relationship with another boy.

Not Max, of course, because Max deserved much better than him, but – _ someone. _ They followed Mr. and Mrs. Potter up the grand staircase, down a hall, and to a room.

“Now, bear in mind that we haven’t quite had the time to do much with the room,” Mrs. Potter said. “But you can do whatever you’d like with it.” She opened the door to a tastefully-decorated room. The walls were papered with a pale blue stripe. It had a double bed (and Regulus didn’t let himself get too excited about that), a desk with a chair, and a wardrobe. There were no portraits, but rather a few landscape paintings.

It looked – friendly and warm. Nothing like his room at home – well, Grimmauld Place. He supposed this was meant to be his home now. “This is – lovely. Thank you so much, Mr. and Mrs. Potter.”

“Of course, dear,” Mrs. Potter said.

“We’ll leave you for a bit to get settled in – should really go make sure James and Sirius aren’t getting into too much trouble already,” Mr. Potter said.

They left the room, but left the door open behind him. Regulus sat down on the bed, and Max sat down next to him and wrapped an arm around him. “I know James is a dickhead, but Mr. and Mrs. Potter are _ really _ nice, Reg.”

He knew he should be thinking about the Potters, or his future, or dozens of other things. But instead, he was thinking of Max: how close he was, how lovely he smelled (of flowers and cinnamon), how warm he felt… and how easy it would be to just turn his head and kiss him. He wondered how soft his lips would be, what it would be like to kiss him. 

This was bad, he knew. Max was his very best friend, and he couldn’t spoil anything. But then – well, everyone _ said _ Max fancied him, and what if they were right? If he could be with _ Max… _

He didn’t even think; he turned his head to face Max and stroked his cheek. Max’s gaze flitted to Regulus’s, and then to his lips. He closed his eyes and actually – leaned in? Regulus’s breath caught in his throat. All he’d have to do would be to just close the gap – they were _ so close _ – and they’d be kissing.

Regulus took in a deep breath, steeled himself for it, and then – 

“Oi! Reg! We’re gonna play some Quiddi– _ oh shit, fuck! Sorry!” _

The door slammed shut, and Regulus found that Max was now sitting nearly a foot away from him.

Suffice to say that the moment was ruined.

“I, er,” Regulus said.

“Quidditch sounds fun,” Max said. And was that – a rejection? Did Max not want him? But he’d – he’d leaned in, too! Regulus felt his anxiety start to churn in his gut. Max worried at his bottom lip.

“You’ve never liked Quidditch before,” Regulus managed.

“I–I like watching you play Quidditch,” Max said. He started playing with the hem of his shirt. He didn’t move closer or meet Regulus’s gaze.

“Max –”

“You _ have _ got your broom, haven’t you?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max paints his nails.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and a note, since there have been questions: of course things aren't actually happening with the adults (Newt, Tina, Euphemia, Fleamont, Walburga, and Orion) as seamlessly and easily as they seem to Regulus. This is, after all, a limited third person POV, and the Scamanders and Potters are trying to shield Regulus and Sirius from as much unpleasantness as possible.

“And Potter’s just so – I really  _ hate _ Gryffindors, Max, I swear. None of them have any self-preservation, or common sense, or anything! And he makes such a big show about saving Snape’s life – which, if you ask me, he didn’t need to do – when he then went on and publicly humiliated him less than a month later!”

Max sat on his bed and, when Regulus looked back to him, he looked bored. Things had somehow returned to normal between them since their near-kiss, and Regulus usually tried not to think too much on it.

“What?” Regulus asked.

“You’ve come over every single day and spend about… upwards of an hour  _ every day  _ kvetching about James Potter,” Max said. “And I’m glad you’re coming over every day! Don’t get me wrong! But I’m just saying… if you really hate living with James so much, I’m sure my parents wouldn’t mind if you lived with us, instead.”

Regulus stopped pacing. “What?”

Max shrugged. “It’s just an idea. You don’t have to take me up on it, by any means. James is clearly worlds better than your parents.”

Regulus hadn’t even let himself  _ consider _ the idea that the Scamanders might be willing to take him in. “I – did your parents  _ say _ that, Max, or are you assuming?”

“They said it,” Max said. “After James and I convinced them to help. It was my parents and the Potters, and they all decided – Sirius would be too much for my parents, as I’m sure you know, but they all thought it’d be best to keep you and Sirius together. But it’s not as if he lives far, and if you’d like… I’m sure we can ask them. They’ll say yes. The house is already Warded, anyway.”

Living with Max would be much much better than living with the Potters. They already spent nearly every day together, and while Mr. and Mrs. Potter were nice, he knew and liked the Scamanders much better.

“A-all right,” Regulus said. “We can ask.”

“Great!” Max said. He grabbed Regulus by the hand and led him downstairs and to his father’s study. Regulus didn’t let himself get his hopes up. He really didn’t think either Newt or Tina would mind, but – well, he hadn’t even thought he could get out of his parents’ house until he was of age, so he wasn’t about to get ahead of himself.

Max knocked on the door. 

“Come in!” Newt called from the other side

Max pushed the door open, and pulled Regulus in. Newt was sitting at his desk, writing something, with a Kneazle sat on his lap. Tina was sitting in an armchair, reading a book. 

“You’re both here,” Max said. “That’s good.”

“What is it, Max?” Tina asked. Regulus was sure he wasn’t imagining how her gaze lingered at their linked hands. Given Max’s known aversion to conflict or – well, gravity in  _ any _ situation, Regulus was surprised that Max didn’t drop his hand then and there.

“Reg doesn’t like living with the Potters and he’s too shy to ask if he can live here instead. But he can, can’t he?”

Newt and Tina exchanged a look. “Is that all that’s going on here?” Tina asked.

“Mr. and Mrs. Potter are very nice, and I like them a lot,” Regulus said. “But it’s just…”

“It’s just that he’s come over every day for the past two weeks to kvetch about James for hours on end and it’s getting annoying.”

“I can handle Sirius on his own,” Regulus said. “But Sirius with James Potter is – a lot.”

“And you’re sure it’s just because you don’t get along with James?” Tina asked. She  _ definitely _ looked at their joined hands then. “There’s no other reason?”

_ “Mum,” _ Max whined. “I thought the two of you had gotten over that? Reg and I aren’t dating; if we were, we’d  _ absolutely _ tell you. I tell you both  _ everything.” _

Regulus wondered if that included their near-kiss, but he didn’t have the nerve to ask. “I am – I am gay, though. But Max and I aren’t together.”

“We’ll have to discuss it with Euphemia and Fleamont,” Newt said. “But I don’t think it should be a problem. My brother wasn’t a Gryffindor, but I don’t think I could have endured living with him and his friends as a teenager.”

Regulus couldn’t believe his ears. “Wait, really?”

“He was a Hufflepuff,” Newt said. “Like I was, but he  _ is _ eight years older, so I suppose that’s a bit different.”

Max squeezed his hand. “I  _ told _ you they’d be fine with it. They love you  _ almost _ as much as I do.” He turned to his parents. “Thanks! We’re gonna go play chess, or something!” He went to turn to leave the room, but his father stopped him.

“Boys, wait a moment,” Newt said. 

Max turned back around. “What?”

“I think we should make it clear – Tina and I are not comfortable with the two of you sharing the same bedroom. Spending time alone together is one thing, and we trust you, but – assuming Euphemia and Fleamont agree, Regulus will move into the guest room.”

“Well,  _ yeah,” _ Max said. “I sort of assumed that.”

“I did, too,” Regulus said. 

“Just so we’re clear,” Tina said, and she nodded.

“We are,” Max said.

“Good,” Tina said. “Then go have fun. We’ll write the Potters.”

And that, it seemed, was that. Max pulled Regulus out of the room, shutting the door behind them, and led him back up to his bedroom. “I told you they’d say yes.”

“I’m – shit, Max, I’m really going to live with you?”

Max grinned. “You are! Oh, man, Reg, this is gonna be brilliant!” He hugged him tightly. “I really hope I won’t annoy you too much.”

Regulus frowned. “Max, when have I  _ ever _ found you annoying?”

“I mean I – I talk constantly, and I  _ know _ I’m annoying and sort of a know-it-all – not as bad as Isaac, though – and I say things without thinking all the time, and – I’m just saying that I understand if you think I’m annoying, sometimes.”

It wasn’t like Max being  _ vulnerable _ was something new, but Regulus had certainly never heard him go into such a dark line of thought before. “I  _ really  _ don’t think you’re annoying. It’s actually – sort of – really comforting. You’re incredibly kind, and thoughtful, and just –  _ wonderful _ and… I promise, I’ve  _ never _ thought you were annoying.”

“Oh,” Max said. He let go of Regulus and sat down on his bed. “Really?”

“Really.”

“I mean, you can tell me. I know we’re still best friends.”

“I know,” Regulus said. “But I’ve really never found you annoying.”

“Even  _ Isaac _ finds me annoying.”

“That’s Isaac,” Regulus said. “Max, you know how – things were for me, at – in London. I  _ really _ do love it how you can talk about anything, and you never hesitate to tell me that you  _ care _ about me, and it’s – really nice.”

“Oh,” Max said. “Well – I’m glad.” He jumped up from his bed and went over to his desk. He rifled through one of the drawers for a few seconds and came back with a small bottle. “D’you mind if I paint my nails?”

“Why would I  _ mind?” _ Regulus asked. He settled in on the bed, and Max sat down next to him. “I  _ did _ let your niece paint my nails just a few months ago.”

“I know, I know,” Max said. “But that’s different. That’s a little girl asking you to do something. Not – a fifteen-year-old gay boy doing it.”

“I  _ really _ don’t mind if you paint your nails,” Regulus said. Why in the world did Max think he  _ would? _

“Even if it’s bubblegum pink?”

“Even if it’s bubblegum pink,” Regulus said.

Max seemed to relax a bit at that. “All right. I usually do it a lot during hols, to be honest, but – not at school. I know you and Isaac wouldn’t say anything bad about it, but being out is different from doing girly things – although I’m not sure why certain colours and nail varnish are deemed  _ girly, _ when it seems a natural extension of creativity. But we can’t say the same for even our housemates, let alone the rest of the school. So I do it at home when I know no one will judge me for it.”

“Narcissa used to paint mine when I was little,” Regulus said. He’d tried not to think too much on Narcissa, because who knew if he’d ever see her again? “But Mum made her stop. Said it was inappropriate. Bet you the both of them think that’s what’s done it.”

Max scoffed. “That’s ridiculous. It’s  _ paint. _ Well, and some other things, but it’s not as if – there’s anything about it that makes you  _ gay. _ You know as well as I do that you’ve always been gay, just as I have.”

“I know,” Regulus said. A thought occurred to him, then. “Why don’t you paint mine, too? I don’t much fancy pink, but if you’ve got any other colours…”

Max looked from the bottle in his hand to Regulus. “I’ve got some blues.” He went back to his desk and came back with some bottles of blue nail varnish, which he dumped on the bed. “I think this one’s a really nice Ravenclaw blue, this one’s more like – the sky on a nice summer day, and this one would go really nicely with your eyes, and…” He trailed off, blushing. “I’m sorry, I didn’t – mean anything by that.”

He didn’t mean anything by what? Saying a shade of blue would go nicely with his eyes? Max had never been shy about his feelings on Regulus wearing various blues before (always positive, and he always gave some comment about his eyes). Why was he now?

“Sorry, I – I know you’re my best friend, but I just don’t want to seem like…”

“Like what?” Regulus asked.

Max worried at his bottom lip and fiddled with the duvet cover. “Like I’m being – predatory, or something.”

Regulus nearly laughed at the very idea, and the only reason he didn’t, really, was how distressed Max looked. “I thought we’d been over this,” Regulus said. “You’re my best friend, and I love how affectionate you are. I  _ love _ cuddling up close with you, and holding your hand, and having you lay in my lap.” It wasn’t Max’s fault that it left Regulus wanting more, and he didn’t know how he’d cope if Max  _ stopped _ doing that. “The same for compliments. You’re my best friend. I know you’re not  _ predatory, _ Max. Honestly, what the fuck?”

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Max said.

“You won’t,” Regulus assured him. “Honestly, Max, even if you were – head over heels in love with me and spent every waking moment thinking about shagging me, I wouldn’t think you were  _ predatory. _ I  _ know _ you. You’ve got to be the last person in the world I’d  _ ever _ describe as predatory.” 

“You’re saying that me being head over heels in love with you and spending every waking moment thinking about shagging you  _ wouldn’t _ make you uncomfortable?” Max asked. “Not even a little bit?”

If anything, the thought made Regulus a little bit  _ too _ comfortable. “That’s right.”

Max blushed, and  _ Merlin _ was he adorable. How was it possible for a boy to be as adorable as Max? Regulus really needed to get these stupid feelings under control. He and Max were  _ best friends; _ they couldn’t go and ruin it. Much as he might want to sometimes. Like now, with Max freckled and adorable and blushing next to him.

Regulus turned his attention back to the nail varnish. There was one that was almost the exact same blue as Max’s eyes. “What about this one?” he asked, picking it up.

“All right,” Max said. “I’ll do you first, and then you can do me. I mean – nail varnish. I’ll – paint your nails first and then – you can paint mine.”

“All right,” Regulus said.

“Here; give me your hand,” Max said, so Regulus did, and  _ fuck, _ Max’s hands were so soft and warm and gentle and Regulus  _ really _ needed to get a hold of himself. Max was his best friend. He couldn’t ruin it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus moves in with the Scamanders. Matters progress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise I'm working on Max's POV of this summer (as well as Newt's), but I probably won't get that done within the next few weeks - but we'll see it!  
For now, we continue with Regulus.

He ruined it. He’d gone and moved in with the Scamanders, in the spare room, and that was all well and good. Things were fine for about a week. Max had been a bit awkward, but things had been going back to normal – or at least Regulus had thought they were.

He and Max were sitting in the Scamanders’ home library, alone with the books and Thalia. It must have been late in the afternoon; they’d spent the morning at the seaside and Regulus hadn’t been able to stop staring, even though Sirius had insisted on tagging along, and he’d brought his friends.

It wasn’t like it was his  _ fault; _ he was a gay teenager, and he  _ knew _ he had raging hormones (at least where other boys were concerned), and he  _ knew _ he fancied Max. And Max was gorgeous. And he was freckled and adorable and his blue swimming trunks nearly matched his eyes perfectly, and he had, at some point in the past year or so, developed a little patch of hair running from his belly button down to – to his waistband, and Regulus had dived underwater at that thought. He  _ definitely _ couldn’t let his thoughts go there.

So he’d actually tried to be nice to Sirius’s friends, and had made a mental note to ask Sirius and Max both if anything was going on with Lupin, because he’d seemed – more reserved than usual. Pettigrew had spent the entire time copying whatever Potter did, which  _ had _ to get annoying, and Sirius had taken every excuse he could get to touch Lupin. Really, at least Regulus wasn’t  _ that _ obvious. All he did was stare; he’d never literally picked Max up and dumped him in the sea (the same could not be said for Sirius and Lupin).

Sirius and his friends had gone back to the Potters’ afterward, and Max and Regulus both had breathed a sigh of relief. Regulus had showered, and then he’d found Max sitting in the library with Thalia on his lap, reading, of all books,  _ Maurice. _

Regulus sat down next to him. Max didn’t even ask before leaning against him so that they were shoulder-to-shoulder. He hadn’t showered since they’d come back, so he smelled more of the salty seawater they’d swum in than his normal flowers and cinnamon. Regulus carded his fingers through Max’s hair, and Max hummed contentedly.

“What bit are you at?” Regulus asked.

“Clive’s being an arsehole.”

Regulus laughed. “You’ll need to be more specific.”

“Well, what I don’t get,” Max said. “Clive’s known he’s gay this whole time, Maurice clearly wants to shag him – how does he resist?”

“Sirius called – Clive’s whole… episode internalised homophobia, when I mentioned it to him.”

“Those are big words from Sirius,” Max said. “I know he’s your brother, and he’s clever, and all, but I’ve never really gotten the impression he particularly cares about all that.”

“Only when he can show people up with it,” Regulus said. He continued carding his fingers through Max’s hair. Max hummed contentedly and leaned his head against Regulus’s.

“I can see it,” Max said. “Clive is caught between this ideal of being gay from the Greeks and the reality of pervasive homophobia – and the pressure from his family to marry well and have a child to carry on the line. And then he’s in Greece, and it’s all ruins and tourists and – he’s always thought he was better than Maurice.”

“Max, I  _ had _ to carry on a family line. My parents were suggesting girls for me to marry. And I didn’t – do what Clive did.”

Max closed the book and took Regulus’s free hand in both of his. “That’s true. But you also don’t live in a society where you’d be imprisoned for being gay, and you’ve known that  _ I’m _ gay for over a year, now, and – again, Clive’s an arse. You’re not.”

“There were times when I thought – he made a lot of sense,” Regulus admitted. “And Maurice, too. Find a woman that’s not repulsive and marry her and just – be done with it. But I wouldn’t be happy that way, and – I want to be happy.”

“You deserve to be happy, Reg,” Max said, tracing the lines on his palm. “You deserve a husband, and a career, and pets and a library and kids if you want them.”

“I’ve  _ got _ to have a career now, haven’t I?”

Max scoffed. “As if you’re not going to be scouted for Quidditch. You’ll have your pick of teams. And I’ll go to every match, even though I still don’t understand a thing about Quidditch.”

“It’s really quite simple,” Regulus said. “Each team’s got seven players –”

“I don’t  _ care _ about the mechanics of Quidditch, either,” Max said. “I like watching you play because it’s  _ you.” _

Regulus felt a rush of warmth at Max’s words. “Oh.”

“And I’ll even pay to watch you, you know.”

He didn’t know why he said it, but maybe it needed to be said. “Max?”

“Yeah?”

“Remember… that first day at Potter’s?”

He felt Max tense against him. “Yes, but we haven’t got to….”

“Did you want to kiss me?”

Max sat up, but he didn’t let go of Regulus’s hand, which was a good sign, wasn’t it?

“Before Sirius spoiled it, I mean,” Regulus added.

“Sirius…  _ spoiled _ it?” Max repeated. He didn’t turn his head to look at him.

“Didn’t he?” Regulus couldn’t even bear to look at him. What if he  _ hadn’t _ wanted to kiss him? What if he didn’t think Sirius had spoiled anything? Worse, still – what if he thought Sirius had prevented them both from making a horrible mistake?

“Just – Reg, please tell me that you didn’t want to kiss me because I’m the only gay boy you know who isn’t related to you.”

“Of course not,” Regulus said. “Max, you’re – you’re my best friend in the world. Do you really think I’d risk spoiling it all just because – we’re both  _ gay?” _

“I dunno,” Max said. “I don’t think you would knowingly, but – I’ve  _ always _ known I was gay, and I can’t really imagine how difficult it must be for you to… come out.”

“I’ve known I was gay since – before you told me you were gay, at least,” Regulus said.

“Oh,” Max said. “And you – wanted to kiss me?”

Regulus looked down at his lap. “I did, yeah,” he managed. “And not just because you’re gay, too, but because – you make me feel – safe. And warm. Like I – like I matter.”

“Oh,” Max said, and this was a fucking disaster. Why had he been so stupid to fucking bring this up? “Well,” Max continued, “you  _ do _ matter.”

Regulus steeled himself for rejection. Someone like  _ Max _ would never want him. Max knew better than anyone else how supremely messed up he was. Max deserved someone better. 

“Reg,” Max said. “Answer me honestly, all right?”

“A-all right,” Regulus managed.

Max took in a deep breath. “You’re not ready for a – relationship, are you? You need me now as – your best friend, more than anything?”

Regulus thought about it. As delighted as he’d be to be able to call Max his  _ boyfriend _ – “No, I’m – I don't think I’m ready for a relationship right now.”

“So best friends.”

“The best,” Regulus said, trying hard to feel like his heart hadn’t just been wrenched out of his chest. And he had only himself to blame.

“That said…” Max said, dropping his voice and adopting a tone that could only be described as  _ seductive, _ but that was  _ ridiculous! _ “I know I’d love for you to be my first kiss. If you – if you feel the same way.”

“Wh-what?” Regulus sputtered. Max wanted to  _ kiss _ him? He actually  _ wanted _ to?

Max reached up and ran his hand through Regulus’s hair. “You need me as a friend now, and that’s fine. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t kiss  _ once, _ if we both want to.”

Regulus looked up and met his gaze then. Max’s expression was always open; he was always easy to read, and – the way he was looking at Regulus now made his stomach flip, but in a way that was actually pleasant and more exciting than anything. Max wanted to kiss him. He actually wanted to kiss him. Fuck. 

“All right,” Regulus breathed.

“Do you want me to kiss you now?” Max asked. Merlin, if only Max would always look at him the way he was looking at him right now – so gentle and warm and full of  _ longing. _

Regulus nodded. “Yeah.”

“All right,” Max said. He caressed Regulus’s cheek, which sent a shiver through him. “I’ll just – go for it, then, I suppose?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Regulus said.

Max’s lips quirked upward just the slightest bit as he moved in closer. Just as they were about to kiss – Regulus closed his eyes – he felt a sharp pain in his face as their noses crashed into each other. 

“Shit, sorry!” Max said. 

Regulus opened his eyes. Max had pulled away and was prodding at his own nose.

“Can you tell I’ve never done this before?”

Regulus didn’t think his nose was broken, and evidently Max didn’t either. “Maybe – angle our heads?” he said. “That’s what – people always do in books. I dunno.”

Max nodded. “You want to try this time?”

“All right,” Regulus said.

Max moved in close again, and Regulus cupped his jaw, angled his head enough that he thought their noses wouldn’t bump into each other again, and closed the gap between them. Max’s lips were soft against his, but – now he didn’t know what to do. Evidently, neither did Max, because he didn’t move either.

They pulled apart. “That wasn’t quite right, either, was it?” Max asked.

“No,” Regulus agreed.

Max hummed. “Try again?”

Max actually wanted to  _ try again? _ With  _ him? _ “You want to?”

“Of course I want to,” Max said. “Don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Regulus said.

Max leaned in, and Regulus closed the gap between them. Regulus felt Max bury his fingers in his hair, which only spurred him on. It was a bit awkward, and probably messier than it ought to have been, but they found their rhythm. He cupped Max’s jaw again, and his skin was so soft, and Max pulled him close. 

He’d thought a lot about what it would be like to kiss Max – how soft his lips would be (it turned out: extremely), how his kisses would taste (like the strawberries he’d had for a snack after lunch), how  _ close  _ they’d be to each other (impossibly close) – but nothing measured up to the real thing. After a few minutes, Max opened his mouth, and shit, were they using  _ tongue _ now? Yes, they were. They definitely were. He buried his free hand in Max’s hair, which was a bit coarser and curlier than usual but that only really made Regulus want to kiss him  _ more. _

Regulus wasn’t sure how long they spent kissing, but when they pulled away, Max was flushed, his hair was much more of a mess than usual, and his lips looked slightly swollen. Regulus was sure that he looked much the same.

Oh, Merlin, he’d snogged Max.

Max smiled and kissed his cheek. “I think that was an absolutely  _ brilliant _ first kiss, don’t you?”

Regulus could only nod. He’d actually done it.  _ They’d _ actually done it. Merlin.

“So, er, for now, then, we’re – best friends, because you’re not ready for a relationship right now. And I think – well, I just wanna say that I’m not going to tell anyone unless you want to. Not that I’m – I  _ really _ loved kissing you, and I’d love to do it again, but it seems – private, you know? Especially since we’re  _ not _ dating and everyone already thinks we are. But if you want to tell people – we can.”

Regulus considered it. There was something enticing about the idea of telling everyone that he’d snogged Max, but – Max had a point. Everyone  _ did _ already think they were dating, and they weren’t, because Regulus wasn’t going to completely ruin their friendship and run it into the ground  _ completely. _

“Do you mind – keeping this between us? I –” He fancied him, definitely, but he didn’t want to just up and  _ say _ that. “There’s no one else I’d rather – kiss, but – I don’t think I can handle a  _ boyfriend, _ and everyone  _ does _ already think we’re dating, so if – even Isaac, if he were to find out, he’d be insufferable, and I – I don’t want anything to damage our friendship.”

Max looked slightly disappointed, but then he smiled and hesitantly kissed Regulus chastely on the lips. “All right,” he said. “Then this is just between us – and Thalia, of course.”

“Of course,” Regulus said. “Thalia knows all of your secrets.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure they handle this well.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isaac comes back from holiday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> isaac's back! and he's missed A LOT

One day in late July, Isaac Flooed in unannounced. “You have to hide me.”

Max gave him an incredulous look. “Why? Did you not make prefect? Surely your parents won’t be  _ too _ upset about that.”

Isaac shook his head. “Haven’t heard anything about prefect. It’s nothing to do with that. It’s David.”

Regulus knew Isaac’s older brother, who’d been a few years ahead of them in school, and a Prefect and, more recently, Head Boy. Last he heard, David was finishing up in the Healer training program.

“What about David?” he asked, because Max seemed to have lost interest.

“We  _ just _ got back from holiday yesterday, and David told everyone this morning. He got engaged. To a goy. Brought her round for breakfast.”

“I thought you didn't care about that,” Regulus said. He’d heard that argument many times from Isaac: just because  _ he _ wanted to marry a Jewish witch (eventually, years in the future) didn’t mean that he cared if his brother or sister (or, to a lesser extent, Max) married someone who wasn’t Jewish.

“Oh,  _ I  _ don't. Our parents, on the other hand…”

“Your parents are fine,” Max said. “They’re probably just annoyed that it’s all being shoved on them at once.”

“Can I hang around here for the day, or not?” Isaac asked. “Mum’s having a row with David, and it’s too much.”

“Sure,” Max said. “You don’t mind, do you, Reg?”

Regulus shook his head. “Not at all.”

“Thanks. I apprec– Reg, are your nails painted?”

Oh. Regulus looked down at his fingernails. He’d forgotten to take the varnish off. “Yeah.”

“Okay,” Isaac said. He pulled a book out of his bag and settled in in the armchair. “Just wanted to make sure it was intentional and not – some weird hex from Potter, or anything.”

Regulus caught Max looking at him over the top of his book. It was  _ Isaac. _ He hadn’t anticipated any sort of negative reaction.

“I’m gay,” Regulus said.

“Yeah, figured that one out about four and a half years ago,” Isaac said without missing a beat. Regulus knew he ought to have been offended or hurt by his friend’s reaction, but it was  _ Isaac _ and his words were reassuring in their own way. It meant that he’d always known, and all the times Regulus  _ thought _ Isaac had done small things to help him, he’d been right. “But – thanks for trusting me enough to tell me.”

“Four and a half  _ years _ ago?” Max asked. “I only figured it out – not even four and a half months ago! Really, more like – three months ago.”

Isaac shrugged. “Dunno why it took you so long.”

Max had really only figured it out three months ago? But that would have just been around when Regulus had come over for Passover. Perhaps that made sense; Max had insisted Regulus was straight to his parents and his brother, and then something seemed to have clicked. “You didn’t have  _ any _ idea before that, Max?” Regulus asked.

“No,” Max said. “You said you were straight, so – why wouldn’t I believe you?”

“Anyone else know?” Isaac asked.

Regulus shrugged. “My parents, Sirius, and Max and his parents are the only ones I’ve told. And the Potters know, too, at least Mr. and Mrs. Potter, because they were right there when I told Sirius – and Sirius has probably told James. And – my cousin Narcissa and my Uncle Alphard and Evan Rosier have all – as good as said they know. They’ll all know for sure by now, anyway.” With the note, there was no way family  _ wouldn’t _ be told. He hadn’t quite gotten up the nerve to write Narcissa since he’d left, mostly because he was terrified of her reaction.

“You told your  _ parents?” _ Isaac asked.

“I left a note. So they knew I wouldn’t be coming back.”

“That seems very… Gryffindor,” Isaac said. It wasn’t a compliment, not from Isaac.  _ Gryffindor, _ coming from Isaac, meant reckless and stupid and dangerous. And, well, perhaps it had been.

Regulus narrowed his eyes. “Shut up. It worked, didn’t it?”

“I think Sirius has rubbed off on you.”

Isaac thought he was being like  _ Sirius, _ of all people? The very idea was an insult. “Max, tell him he’s wrong.”

Max looked between the two of them, an incredulous expression on his face. “You’re both being ridiculous. Honestly, Reg, saying you were gay in the note was a stupid idea, and Isaac, just admit you fancy Sirius already.”

Isaac turned bright red. “I do not fancy Sirius! I’m  _ straight! _ Like, really, great for both of you that you’re not, but I am!”

“You can like both,” Max said mildly. “We don’t, but you can.”

Regulus had to admit that Max might be onto something. Isaac  _ did _ seem strangely interested in Sirius, and talked about him quite often. He glanced at Isaac, who was still bright red, and looked as though he was trying to formulate a proper response. Regulus nudged Max with his foot.

“Max,” he said, “Maybe drop it?”

After all, even if Isaac  _ did _ fancy Sirius, even if he  _ weren’t _ as straight as he claimed, and even if he  _ knew it, _ it was really none of their business unless Isaac elected to tell them.

Max heaved a dramatic sigh. “Fine.”

“Even if I were – and I’m  _ not,” _ Isaac said, still bright red, “I wouldn’t – not  _ Sirius Black, _ of all people! He’s – exactly the opposite of everything I like! I-in girls! Because I do – genuinely fancy  _ girls! _ Like, I want to snog them and… well…  _ eventually, _ I want to – shag them. Girls, I mean.”

Max just raised an eyebrow, and even Regulus thought that was a shitty excuse. Evan Rosier and Max were as different as it was possible for two boys to be, and he knew he desperately wanted to snog both of them. There was definitely something to Evan’s easy charm that explained a  _ lot _ about why everyone seemed to be mad for Sirius.

“So why’s your mum angry that David’s engaged to someone who isn’t Jewish?” Regulus asked in a blatantly obvious attempt to change the subject.

“Their kids won’t be Jewish,” Isaac said, “Since it’s just through – your mother, you know. And that, I think, is the short of it, unless she converts, and she – when I left, she didn’t seem to have considered it.”

“Do Masorti wizards  _ really _ not recognize patrilineal Jews?” Max asked. “That seems a bit – well, stupid, considering how few of us there are in the first place.”

Isaac shrugged. “It’s not  _ us. _ It’s halacha. Besides, it’s not as if we don’t let people convert if they want to. And – honestly, even if  _ she _ doesn’t want to convert, they  _ could _ convert their children so they’d be halachically Jewish. I just dunno if  _ Mum _ would be okay with that.” 

* * *

The morning after Isaac stopped by, as Regulus and Max were sitting in their normal spot on the sofa (that is to say: half tangled together), Max’s father called them into the kitchen. Regulus knew it wasn’t likely to be anything  _ bad, _ because it was Max’s dad, but he didn’t protest when Max held his hand for the short walk to the kitchen.

Two Hogwarts letters were on the table. One looked rather thicker than the other, and Regulus thought that it was probably his Quidditch captain badge. On closer examination, the thicker envelope did have his name on it. 

Max tore into his letter and skimmed the course materials list. “I take it you're Quidditch captain?”

“I think so.” Regulus opened his letter. “Let’s see.” He reached inside to pull out the badge, and, to his surprise, found two. The first was the Quidditch captain badge, and the other was for prefect. 

“Isaac won't be pleased with that,” Max said, eyeing the prefect badge. “But between us, I think you're better suited for it. Isaac is too uptight, and he can’t really talk to people, and his anxiety about everything else is just as bad as yours.”

Regulus wasn’t quite sure that he believed  _ that, _ but he did know that Isaac barely talked to anyone he didn’t know. He supposed that could hinder his prefecture. “Do you think Isaac will be upset because he actually  _ wanted _ the extra stress, or because he has a complex about his brother?”

“The second, definitely,” Max said.

“Boys,” Newt said.

“We’re  _ all _ younger brothers here, Dad,” Max said. “Mum’s not in the room. We can admit Isaac has a complex about living up to his brother’s achievements. You did. I probably would if I wanted to be a Magizoologist. Reg does.”

“Hey,” Regulus said.

“You do,” Max said. “I love you, but you  _ absolutely _ have a younger brother complex. It’s just not as bad as Isaac’s, because there’s loads Sirius does that you never want to do.”

“He’s a  _ Gryffindor,” _ Regulus said. “I think the only thing Sirius and I have in common is that we’re both gay.”

Max laughed. “You keep telling yourself that, Reg. I’m gonna go Floo Isaac and see if he wants to go to Diagon with us. You want to come?”

“All right,” Regulus agreed. He wasn’t overly eager to see Isaac’s reaction to  _ not _ getting prefect, but he sort of felt as if he had some obligation to keep Max in line. Besides, he was getting used to being able to visit his friends whenever he wanted to, and wasn’t about to turn that down.

* * *

Isaac wasn’t in the living room when they arrived, but Miri was. Max went through first, and he was hugging Miri when Regulus came through.. “Did you get your Hogwarts letters, too?” she asked. “Isaac didn’t make prefect.”

It wasn’t difficult to follow her line of thought: if Isaac hadn’t made prefect, then that left Max and Regulus. One of them had to be.

“Reg did,” Max said.

“Oh,” Miri said. “Well, that makes sense, then.”

“It does?” Regulus asked.

“Can you honestly picture  _ Isaac _ as  _ prefect? _ He constantly needs to control  _ everything. _ David’s just a bit too serious, but with how Isaac is – it’s best for everyone involved that he’s not, really.”

“Is he – taking it hard?”

Miri shrugged. “He’s been up in his room since after the letter came, so who knows? Mum’s still a bit – well, you heard about David.” She looked from Max to Regulus. “Not that  _ I _ think there’s anything wrong with marrying a goy.”

“I’m gay,” Regulus said.

“How lucky for Max,” Miri said with a grin. “I don’t think any of the Scamanders think there’s anything wrong with marrying a goy, either.”

“Miri, stop,” Max whined. “We’re going to go see Isaac!” He grabbed Regulus by the hand and led him out of the living room and upstairs. “Miri might actually be worse than Isaac.”

Regulus  _ wanted _ to tell Max that he wasn’t bothered at all by what Miri said. The only thing, really, was that Regulus was certain that Max would move on and find someone better and – the only way Regulus could see them staying friends was if they didn’t date. But he didn’t say anything. His nerves were already bad enough at the reality of having to face Isaac.

Max knocked on Isaac’s bedroom door.

“I’m  _ fine!” _ Isaac called.

“That’s great, mate, but it’s Max and Reg!” 

There was some shuffling on the other side of the door, but then it opened. Isaac was still wearing his pyjamas, and it didn’t look like he’d brushed his hair.

“Come in, because Mum and Dad keep trying to comfort me, and I don’t want to deal with it.”

They went in and sat down on Isaac’s bed. Regulus wasn’t sure what to say, but he wasn’t truthfully  _ that _ worried about that aspect. Max would take care of that.

“Honestly,” Isaac said, tapping his wand at his bedroom door and sitting down at his desk. “I’m not bothered by not making prefect.”

“You’re not?” Regulus asked.

“God, no,” Isaac said. “I’m bothered that everyone thinks I  _ should _ be bothered, but – all right, I sort of  _ expected _ it, since we all expected you to get Quidditch captain, and both seems like a lot, but – I’m actually sort of relieved.”

“You’re relieved?” Max asked. He didn’t sound like he believed it, and, frankly, Regulus didn’t quite believe it, either.

“Yeah,” Isaac said. “Look, David’s gone and shown Mum and Dad that he’s not some flawless son, and – honestly, we’re doing our OWLs this year, and I don’t need the extra stress. Just – please tell me you got it, Reg, and not Max.”

“Who would make  _ me _ prefect?” Max asked before Regulus could even open his mouth. “Of course he got it. And Quidditch captain.” He leaned his head against Regulus’s. “We won’t see him at all this year.”

“You’d better find someone else to annoy,” Isaac said. “Like Miri. Because I’ll be revising for OWLs. Like I said after exams last year: I want to get into the Healer training program, so I’ll need the marks.”

_ “Fine,” _ Max huffed. “Miri and I will have fun without you.”

“Did you want to go to Diagon Alley with us?”

“Of course,” Isaac said. “Not today, though.”

“No,” Max said. “Today, we’re planning Reg’s birthday party.”

“My  _ what?” _ Regulus asked.

“Your birthday party,” Max said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> laying on the jewish stuff just in time for rosh hashanah (i swear i didn't plan it)  
shanah tovah!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus goes to Diagon Alley, and later celebrates his birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last chapter before we get back to Hogwarts!

Regulus’s fifteenth birthday fell on a Saturday. Before, this wouldn’t have meant, well, anything, but now, living with the Scamanders and being able to  _ see his friends _ on his birthday, it meant several things. First of these was that Isaac insisted that he probably shouldn’t travel on a Saturday, since it was shabbos, and his mother might give him a lecture, so he had to come over the day before. Then, Max suggested going to Diagon Alley together the day before, meeting Isaac there, and having Isaac drop his things off at home and Floo back to Dorset then. It also meant that Newt and Tina were going to be at torah study in the morning – and they told Regulus and Max that they’d take the time to visit Newt’s brother and sister-in-law in the afternoon. Which meant that they’d be left unsupervised.

He and Max Flooed to Diagon Alley early in the afternoon on the day before his birthday, and met Isaac at Gringotts. Regulus had found that living with the Scamanders at their house hadn’t once felt like charity – he had chores, just like Max did (although he’d found that, unlike Max, he both liked and was good at cooking and cleaning), for which he received a weekly allowance. He just wasn’t sure if it’d be enough to buy everything on his list, and he dreaded having to ask Max for  _ more _ money when his parents were already doing so much, but – he wasn’t stupid enough to try to get into the family vault.

Isaac was waiting outside the bank when they arrived.

“Sorry we’re late,” Max said.

“He couldn’t decide on the robes he wanted to wear,” Regulus said.

“Reg wasn’t much help.”

“It’s fine,” Isaac said. “I figured since you run an hour late, Max, and  _ you _ run fifteen minutes  _ early, _ Reg, that the middle ground would be somewhere around half an hour to forty-five minutes late. I really just got here.”

“Tosser,” Max said. “Let’s go to the bank. Reg and I need money.”

“I, er, I’ve got my allowance,” Regulus said.

“All right, but we still need money for all our school supplies,” Max said, dragging Regulus into the bank by the hand.

“Max, you  _ really  _ don’t have to…”

“Allowance is for  _ fun _ things, Reg, not school supplies. Mum and Dad actually told me not to  _ let _ you use your allowance for  _ anything _ on the list.”

Of course they had. “I-if you’re sure,” Regulus said.

“I am,” Max said. “And so are my parents.”

“It just feels like – I haven’t done anything for it.”

Max rolled his eyes. “You don’t need to. School supplies are necessities, like food. Or are you going to start asking them to not feed you without extra chores, too?”

“Well, no…” When Max put it like that, it did sound ridiculous.

“It’s  _ fine, _ Reg. We’ll get enough for everything on both of our lists, and Dad said we can treat Isaac to ice cream and butterbeer with whatever’s left.”

It certainly  _ sounded _ like something Newt would say, so Regulus nodded. Max marched right up to the counter. “Good morning!”

“It’s one in the afternoon,” Isaac muttered.

“That’s morning to him,” Regulus said.

“I’m Max Scamander, and I’d like to make a withdrawal from the Scamander vault.”

Regulus was struck then by the realisation that the Scamanders were likely nearly as wealthy as his own family, even if none of them acted like it. Newt and his brother had both grown up without any real need to work for a living, and yet they both had – as had their wives. He felt stupid, then, for ever feeling like it was any sort of burden or problem.

“Identification?” the goblin asked.

“Oh, I’ve got a letter from my parents,” Max said, handing it over. “And it should say that Regulus Black and Isaac Goldstein are allowed to go with me.”

The goblin examined the letter and checked something in a book. He nodded and handed the letter back to Max. “Very well,” he said.

“Oh, Isaac also needs to get to his safe. He has his key.”

* * *

“Regulus! Hey!”

Regulus turned to see Dirk Cresswell. Something about him looked odd, and it took Regulus a moment to realise that he was wearing Muggle clothes: a t-shirt and jeans. It suited him, but maybe that was just because, as a Muggleborn, he knew _how_ to wear Muggle clothes.

“Hey!” Regulus said. “I didn’t know you’d be here today.”

“I’m visiting Emmeline for the week,” Dirk said. “Well, until the first. My sisters were a bit much this summer, and we thought with your party – it’d make more sense for me to go with Emmeline rather than try to figure out how to get to a wizard’s house in rural Dorset using Muggle transit.”

“You’re coming tomorrow, then?” Regulus asked.

“Wouldn’t miss it for anything!” Dirk said with a warm smile. “How’s everything been with Max and his parents?”

“Really great, actually.” He still wasn’t quite used to being able to do whatever he wanted (within reason), and especially not to seeing his friends all the time. “Newt and Tina are really great, and they’ve even given me an allowance. I mean, I’ve got chores, which I never had before, but I really don’t mind.”

“I’m glad to hear it’s going well, then,” Dirk said. 

“It is,” Regulus said. “And – d’you know, by chance, who’s made prefect for Hufflepuff?”

Dirk grinned. “You’re looking at him.”

“Oh, congratulations!” Regulus said.

“Thanks. Isaac’s yours, then? I know Emmeline’s got her badge, but we all knew that would happen.”

“Actually, I’m the boys’ prefect,” Regulus said.

“Isaac must be gutted, but really, I’m happy to hear it’s you.”

“You are?”

“Of course,” Dirk said. “I dunno if Isaac and I are even properly  _ friends, _ you know? But you and I are, and it looks like prefects spend a lot of time together, so – you, me, and Em.”

“Between O.W.L.s, prefect duties, and Quidditch, I probably won’t have any free time at all.”

“As long as the company’s good.”

“Reg!” Regulus felt Max hug him from behind and rest his chin on his shoulder. “I’ve been looking  _ everywhere _ for you,” Max said. “Hullo, Dirk. Are you coming tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Dirk said.

“Have you already got your gift for Reg?”

“Max,” Regulus said. 

“Of course,” Dirk said. “His birthday’s  _ tomorrow.” _

“Good,” Max said, “because I think we all agree that Reg deserves a fantastic birthday, and, in my opinion, at least, that includes presents.”

* * *

Regulus had never actually had a birthday party for his own enjoyment before. Sure, he’d had birthday parties as a child, but that had been to introduce him to appropriate children to interact with, and for his parents to show off to the other Purebloods. And, at least after his first year at Hogwarts, Max and Isaac had never missed his birthday, usually electing to give him his presents a few days later in the dormitory (because his parents wouldn’t approve of almost anything they got him).

But he’d never had a proper  _ birthday party. _

He sort of let Max do whatever he wanted, which included the guest list: Max and Isaac (obviously), Emmeline, Dirk, Lily, and Sirius. Regulus hadn’t explicitly  _ said _ that he didn’t want Sirius’s friends there, but he still hoped they didn’t show up. At least not James Potter or Peter Pettigrew. Remus Lupin was usually all right.

Lily came in first, on the Knight Bus. Well, first after Isaac, who’d spent the night the night before. She greeted everyone pleasantly, and Regulus  _ really _ hoped his brother didn’t barge in and ruin it as he showed her to the living room.

She examined the fireplace. “Max, is that a mezuzah?” she asked, pointing to the small metal box affixed to the mantel. Regulus hadn’t known there was a name for it, but he’d always seen the Scamanders touch it when they came in through the Floo. He’d assumed it was a Scamander thing, but – didn’t Isaac’s family have one, too, now that he thought on it?

“What? Oh, yeah,” Max said. “There’s one on the front door, too, but – you know, technically it’s an entryway, so – what’s that bit in the sh’ma, Isaac?”

“You – you  _ have _ to know the sh’ma,” Isaac said.

“Well, anyway,” Max said.

“It’s  _ the sh’ma,” _ Isaac said. “We’re meant to say it every day!”

“I don’t know  _ every _ word; that’s why we have siddurim!”

“It’s the  _ sh’ma!” _

“I know the important bits,” Max said. “Like the proper…  _ sh’ma yisroel _ bit.”

Lily looked to Regulus, who shrugged. “I’ve not been to a synagogue since Max’s bar mitzvah.”

“But you’re not Jewish,” Isaac said. “It’s different.”

“I don’t really know much about how halacha applies to the wizarding world,” Lily said. “Actually – Isaac, I think I’d love to discuss it with you. I’ve got Remus, of course – I mean, not that I’ve  _ got _ Remus, but we’re friends – but his mum’s a Muggle, too and his father isn’t Jewish, so he follows a Muggle minhag, too.”

“Oh, sure,” Isaac said, preening, though his cheeks were pink. “So, with that, we put a mezuzah on the fireplace if it’s connected to the Floo network, because it’s an entryway – so the mantel would double as a doorpost…” 

The Floo activated, then, and Emmeline stepped out and brushed off the soot. “Dirk’s just behind me,” she said as she went to hug Regulus. “Sorry I haven’t been round to visit; we’ve been on holiday, and then Dirk came for a week.”

Dirk came through the Floo at that moment. “I don’t think I’ll  _ ever _ get used to that,” he said.

“It’s not the most pleasant way of getting around,” Regulus said.

“I really think I prefer cars and trains,” Dirk said. “They might take longer, but they don’t make me ill.”

“Well, all the same,” Regulus said, “It’s great to see you both.”

Dirk grinned. “It’s great to be here. Where do we put the presents?”

“Oh!” Max said, jumping up, “Over here! Follow me! Don’t think I’m much help in discussing magical halacha, anyway!”

* * *

Regulus, personally, had no idea what to do at a birthday party, but apparently Max had thought of everything. Had more of Regulus’s friends been interested in Quidditch, he’d have probably played a match with them, but as it was – even his friends who enjoyed watching Quidditch didn’t enjoy  _ playing _ Quidditch. He knew that no one wanted to watch him and Sirius try to hit each other with bludgers all afternoon.

Instead, they went down to the seaside, and Regulus was able to keep himself from staring too obviously at Max, although he did notice that Isaac couldn’t seem to help himself from staring at Lily. At least he seemed totally over Emmeline.

Sirius was as annoying as ever, but Regulus did notice that he carefully avoided Lily, and instead focused his efforts on antagonising Isaac, who was either getting sunburnt or blushing excessively. Regulus really wasn’t sure that was much better, really, except that Isaac was probably much less likely to punch Sirius than Lily would be. 

When they all went back to the house, Regulus felt nervous. He knew he didn’t  _ have _ to tell Emmeline, Lily, and Dirk that he was gay, but Max, Isaac, and Sirius already knew, and he wasn’t really sure he wanted to stay in the closet. That was assuming his mother had even left him that option, which he wasn’t fully convinced of. He  _ wanted _ his friends to know, and he knew that no one would mind.

“Before we do anything else,” Regulus said, “there’s something I need to say.”

“What is it?” Max asked, touching him gently on the shoulder. Regulus was grateful for the physical assurance.

“I’m gay,” Regulus said. “Like – properly.”

Sirius snorted. “What’s  _ improperly _ gay, then?”

Lily glared at Sirius and crossed her arms. “That’s  _ really _ how you’re going to react to this?”

“He told me months ago,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms. “I’m his  _ brother, _ Evans. Surprised he’d tell me before  _ you?” _

“His initial reaction wasn’t much better,” Regulus said.

“Well,” Lily said, “regardless, thank you for trusting us with this, Regulus.”

“I  _ suspect _ Max and Isaac  _ also _ already know,” Emmeline said. “But you now this doesn’t change anything.”

“Definitely not,” Dirk agreed.

“I already knew,” Max said. “But you know I love you.”

“I know,” Regulus said. “I love you, too, Max.”

“Of course you do,” Max said. “I’m  _ delightful.” _

“You might actually be  _ more _ full of yourself than Sirius,” Isaac said.

“Oi!” Sirius said. “Watch yourself, Goldstein! Or do you  _ not _ think that I’m gorgeous and talented and brilliant?”

“Anyway,” Max said loudly before Isaac had a chance to blush too much, “it’s time for cake and presents. You’ll open mine first, won’t you, Reg?”

“What about saving the best for last?” Isaac teased.

Max scoffed. “That’s just for people who are concerned about overshadowing everyone else.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thinking about how wizarding minhag would be different from muggle minhag brought about a few subtle things in this fic, but the mezuzot on the fireplaces was one of them (which I discussed with a lot of people on a jewish hp server) - it seemed, to us, to be a reasonable interpretation.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus goes back to Hogwarts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone's been asking what Walburga and Orion have been doing since Regulus and Sirius ran away, and while the Scamanders + Potters have been keeping as much as possible from them, there's definitely a limit.

The entire school knew by the first day of classes.

No one told him, not outright, but he could tell from the way people stopped talking when they caught sight of him. By the way the Slytherins  _ stared _ at him. By the way his friends surrounded him at every available moment. By the way Barty Crouch looked at him like he’d cracked some mysterious code.

Really, it wasn’t until the post came the next morning with a letter from Narcissa that Regulus confirmed what had happened. His mother had written every respectable Pureblood in the country to tell them all that he and Sirius were gay and blood traitors. She’d included a copy with her letter, warning him that the language was violent and homophobic and probably not something he ought to be reading, but she wrote that she thought he had a right to know what was being said about him.

It wasn’t as if his mother had only written Slytherins – no, presumably, even Prewett’s family had gotten one. And gossip travelled more quickly at Hogwarts than anywhere else. All it would have taken was a few people, and his mother had told a fair more than a few.

“I cannot  _ believe _ her!” Regulus shouted in the safety of his dorm, kicking his bedpost in his stocking feet before he could think better of it.

Emmeline whispered a quick healing charm (Regulus felt the pain subside, and that  _ wasn’t the point, damn it _ ) and looked to Max.

“We’ve always known your mum was a piece of work,” Isaac said when Max didn’t say anything. “But this is a bit far even for her.”

“Shouldn’t have told her I was gay in my note,” Regulus said. “ _ Stupid. _ ”

“Sirius will kick anyone’s arse who tries to start anything,” Max said. “I already saw him and his mates corner some Slytherins today.”

Emmeline swatted at Max. “What?” Max said. “It’s true!”

“Something tells me,” Isaac said, “that she’d have told everyone anyway even if you hadn’t said so in a note. It’s not… like, okay, outing you is  _ bad _ , don’t get me wrong, and it’s unforgivable, but it’s not like… we didn’t all know before you told us.”

“Stop treating me like a wounded animal,” Regulus snapped.

“I’m not,” Isaac said. “I think Max is the only one who pretended otherwise, and I think that’s just because he was being nice. We all knew, mate. And you should’ve had a chance to make that decision on your own, to come out or – or not, even, but you didn’t, because your mum is a  _ klafte _ , to put it lightly.”

Regulus furrowed his brows, and it was Max’s turn to swat at Isaac. “I don’t know that one,” Regulus said.

“It’s  _ not _ a word we should be teaching you,” Max said.

“How do  _ you _ know what it means?” Isaac asked. “I thought your mum kept everything polite.”

Max shrugged. “I have my ways.”

“The point is,” Isaac said, “we already knew. It’s not like you telling us was a shock to  _ any _ of us. I know I didn’t make any pretense that it was – but we  _ all _ knew, even Max.”

“How long?”

Isaac looked to Emmeline and Max. “I dunno about them, but I always sort of figured,” Isaac said. “You were never interested in girls.”

“Second year,” Emmeline said, “when Seraphina Greengrass spent all of our potions classes flirting with you and all you wanted to talk about was Stubby Boardman.”

Regulus threw himself on his bed at that.  _ “I  _ didn’t even know I was gay in second year!”

“Yeah, no wonder,” Isaac said, “with your family.”

“I didn’t notice until last term,” Max said with a grimace. “Does that make me a bad friend?”

“No,” Regulus said. “Max, you  _ literally _ got me  _ out _ of there. You’re the farthest thing from a bad friend.”

“I didn’t want to assume,” Max said. “But we’ve – we’ve been over that.”

“D’you think Lily and Dirk knew?” Regulus asked.

“Dirk did,” Emmeline said. “He asked me about it – must’ve been around Easter? I told him you said you were straight, and I left it at that. I dunno about Lily, though.”

“Oh,  _ fuck, _ I told Corner I couldn’t date him because I was straight,” Regulus said. “He’ll know that was a lie, now.”

“I don’t think he’ll be too bothered,” Isaac said. “But he might ask you out again.”

* * *

Lily Evans caught him the next morning at breakfast.

“Sirius told me what happened,” she said as she slid onto the bench next to him. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Regulus didn’t want to think about how concerned his brother must be to actually approach Lily and talk to her civilly, even if it had to do with Regulus (and nothing to do with Remus Lupin). The thought wasn’t exactly comforting.

“Hex anyone you hear spewing homophobic rubbish about me?”

Lily laughed. “I can always scare them with my prefectly powers. I’m not sure McGonagall will like it if I’m running round hexing students. I think that’s more your brother’s job. I just won’t dock points if I see him defending you.”

“I appreciate it,” Regulus said. “I’m just grateful my cousin wrote me to tell me it was definitely my mother who did it.”

“What a terrible way to be outed,” Lily said. “I’m very glad that you have best friends who – understand.”

“Even if I won’t see them much this year,” Regulus said a bit more bitterly than he’d intended.

“Actually,” Lily said, “Besides Dirk Cresswell and Emmeline Vance, there is actually – a new prefect who I think you’d get on with. Her name is Mary, and she’s a Gryffindor. She’s very sweet, and her brother is gay.”

“I didn’t expect to be set up with a girl  _ after _ I came out,” Regulus said.

Lily smiled. “As friends, of course. You can never have too many friends.”

He didn’t know what he’d expected from a Muggleborn who not only had been best friends with one of Rosier’s mates for way longer than she ought to have, but had also put forth the effort to befriend  _ him, _ knowing full well what sort of family he’d come from, but this didn’t completely surprise him.

“We can’t all be as naturally lovely as you are.”

Lily laughed. “Don’t say that in front of Potter.”

“Why? Will he think I’m coming on to you? I know he’s dense, but I think even he deserves a  _ bit _ of credit in that area.”

“Oh, no,” Lily said. “He’ll just use it as a jumping point to try to hit on me, and I really don’t want to be bothered.”

“I had to live with him for two weeks this summer, you know,” Regulus said, “until Max got fed up with my complaining.”

“It was a  _ daily event,” _ Max said. “Reg’d come over every day and spend upwards of an hour kvetching about James Potter, and there’s only so much I can take.”

“I didn’t want to impose,” Regulus said.

“He didn't want to impose, he says,” Max said. “As if this wasn't the best summer of my life, getting to live with Reg.”

Lily looked as though she had something to say to that, but she mercifully kept her mouth shut. Regulus could only imagine what it was that she’d say, anyway. “Who’s this girl you’re trying to set me up with?”

“I’m not trying to  _ set you up,”  _ Lily said. “But it’s Mary Macdonald. She’s a Muggleborn Gryffindor, and in your year – you should know her already, really.”

“Macdonald’s fit,” Isaac said. “She’s Scottish, but she’s fit.”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “Clearly that’s what  _ I’m _ concerned with.”

Isaac shrugged. “Well, she is.” He turned to Max. “Notice how Reg  _ never _ talked about fit girls. How was that not a sign?”

Max blushed and scratched at the back of his head. “I dunno. I didn’t think too much on it, unlike  _ some _ people.”

“They’ve been arguing over this since I told them this summer,” Regulus said to Lily.

“How fun for you.”

“‘Fun’ is perhaps not the word I’d use. No amount of trying to convince them that they’re  _ both wonderful friends and I don’t care when they realised I was gay,”  _ – this he said to Max and Isaac – “has made them stop.”

“It’d be one thing if  _ I _ hadn’t realised it,” Isaac said, “but Max is gay, too.”

Regulus dragged his hand down his face. “Honestly, I don’t care. I’ve got bigger things to worry about. Like Quidditch tryouts and prefect patrols.”

Max and Isaac exchanged a look. “All right, all right,” Max said. 

“If you’re stressed about Quidditch tryouts, just assign Corner deputy Captain, or whatever, and have him do all the work. He fancies you. He’d do it,” Isaac said.

Max snorted. “How positively  _ Slytherin _ of you, Isaac.”

“I’m just thinking about the best way for Regulus to manage his responsibilities, and deputising people to help out is  _ hardly _ a Slytherin idea.”

“But ‘make Corner do the work because he fancies you’  _ is _ a Slytherin idea,” Max said.

“I’m not doing it, so it hardly matters  _ what _ sort of idea it is,” Regulus said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... that happened.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Regulus goes to a prefects' meeting, and we meet a few new characters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is coming late in the day! It's been a busy weekend!

After the first prefect meeting of the school year, Regulus hung back as Lily had asked. He noticed Mary Macdonald doing the same. The new Slytherin boys’ prefect, Augustus Selwyn, whom Regulus knew from Quidditch and shared classes, was looking at him in a way that made him slightly uncomfortable.

“Did you have something to ask me, Selwyn?” Regulus asked as Lily talked to the Head Girl (a Hufflepuff, like last year).

Selwyn looked like he’d been caught red-handed doing something terrible, though, really, all he’d been doing was looking at him. “Is it true?”

“That I’m gay, you mean?” Regulus asked.

“Yes,” Selwyn said. “My mother received a letter over the summer… it said you and your brother both were, but then – we all knew about him.”

“Well,” Regulus said, “I can’t speak for the rest of the letter, but I’m definitely gay.”

“Is that – is that why you ran away?”

“Among other things, yes,” Regulus said. There was no use hiding from it, anyway.

“I think…” Selwyn said. “I think that’s really brave.”

It hadn’t been brave, not really. It had been escape with help from his best friend, or suffer until he could escape on his own. “People seem to think so,” Regulus said. “It was really the only option that I could see.”

“Well,” Selwyn said, “Still. I hear your parents are scrambling for an heir now.”

“I’m sure my cousin Narcissa would be happy to take on her maiden name again to carry on the family line,” Regulus said. He trusted Narcissa with a child  _ far _ more than he would ever trust his own parents with another child. He didn’t even think his parents could tolerate each other long enough to get an heir out of it.

“I’m sure she’s written you all about her plans,” Selwyn said.

“Oh, a true Slytherin would never write her plans out on plain parchment,” Regulus said. And Narcissa, if nothing else, was a true Slytherin.

“I suppose that’s true,” Selwyn said. “I’ve got to head back, but – you know we won’t go easy on you on the pitch just because you’re gay and disowned.”

“You know we still beat you last year when you had Warrington  _ and _ Goyle,” Regulus countered. “Even after Rosier got the 1001. We’ve only lost Prewett, and she personally selected me as her replacement.”

“Then it should be a hell of a match,” Selwyn said.

Regulus watched him leave, and realised that he really didn’t know much about Augustus Selwyn. They were in the same year, and both Seekers on their respective Quidditch teams, and Selwyn was a Pureblood from a Sacred Twenty-Eight line, much like Regulus was… but not much beyond that. He tended to be quiet and standoffish, and Regulus had never felt any sort of drive to seek him out.

Lily, evidently, had finished her business with the Head Girl and walked over to Regulus. “What was that all about?”

Regulus shrugged. “Confirming the rumours, I suppose.”

“Think he’s interested?” Lily asked.

“Even if  _ he _ is,  _ I’m _ not.” He didn’t want to date  _ anyone  _ right now, let alone the Seeker on the opposing Quidditch team. “Honestly, I’m just relieved that  _ he’s _ the Slytherin boys’ prefect and not… Crouch or Wilkes.”

“That would have been awful,” Lily agreed. 

“Might as well introduce me properly to Mary,” Regulus said.

“Yeah, of course,” Lily said. She led him over to where Mary was sat reading a book. “Mary, this is Regulus. He’s – had an  _ interesting _ summer, and I think the two of you would be great friends.”

Isaac had been right; Mary Macdonald  _ was _ pretty. She had shoulder length blonde hair, bright brown eyes, and freckles. If this had been a year earlier, Regulus wouldn’t have put it past Lily to have an actual set up in mind. Right now, though, he felt relieved.

“I’m gay,” Regulus said. “So this isn’t any sort of – set up.”

“It’s a friend set up,” Lily said. “I think interhouse friendships are important.”

“Oh, we know,” Mary said. “At least  _ I _ do.”

“I do, too,” Regulus said. “And I agree.” Although he wouldn’t have anything to do with  _ Snape _ if he had any say in the matter, but he didn’t voice that thought. Even if Lily and Snape were no longer friends. In Regulus’s opinion, it had taken far too long for her to drop him.

“Then it’s settled.”

* * *

Lily had somehow managed to talk Regulus and Mary into spending time alone together on Saturday morning. Regulus would have asked Max and Isaac along, but Lily had invited them and Miri (although Max had still been sleeping when Regulus had left the dormitory) to pray with her and Remus, under the guise of learning more about Wizarding Judaism, and Isaac was a predictable disaster where pretty girls were concerned.

If Regulus didn’t know better, he’d have thought Lily wouldn’t have been totally out of place in Slytherin – even if he was actually grateful for her help.

“What were you talking to Gus Selwyn about the other day?” Mary asked.

_ “Gus _ Selwyn?” Regulus repeated.

Mary nodded. “His name’s Augustus, but he doesn’t like that much.”

“Mary, you’re – a Muggleborn  _ and _ a Gryffindor. How are you on a first-name basis with a Pureblood Slytherin?”

“Well, he hates all the Slytherins in his year,” Mary said, “and so do I. Besides, he was – really nice after the whole thing with – Mulciber last year. Came up to me after Herbology and apologised even though he had nothing to do with it.”

Regulus had only heard vague rumours about what Mulciber had done to Mary the year before, and he wasn’t very keen on finding out more, even if it  _ wouldn’t _ make her relive a traumatic incident (which he rather thought it would). “That was – decent of him.”

“He’s surprisingly decent. You know, he’s a big fan of those – political satires set just after the Statute?”

_ “Warbeck’s _ political satires?” Regulus asked. The ones his uncle wrote under a penname and  _ admitted _ were targeted against Pureblood society?

“Yes, that’s the one!”

“And he understands that they’re satires and  _ not _ a glorification of Pureblood society?” He really hadn’t pegged Selwyn for the type, but then he really didn’t know him.

“He said it’s rather hard to miss,” Mary said. “I dunno. I couldn’t really get into them, personally. We mostly talk about Quidditch.”

“Quidditch?” Regulus asked.

“Yeah,” Mary said. “Dad’s a huge football fan, so I grew up going to matches, and Quidditch really isn’t  _ that _ different, not once you’ve got used to it.”

“Why don’t you play?” Regulus asked.

“I’ve got shite hand-eye coordination,” Mary said, “and a crippling fear of heights. I mean, the stands are fine, but you can easily fall off of a broom.”

“It’s definitely not for everyone,” Regulus said. “But do you follow professional Quidditch?”

“I’m a Harpies fan, if that’s what you’re asking.” She grinned. “Let me guess: Puddlemere?”

Regulus scoffed. “Absolutely not, despite my uncle’s best efforts. Tutshill.”

“At least you didn't say the Cannons.”

“No,” Regulus said. “I have  _ taste.  _ I think my friend Max, though, if he were to pick a team,  _ would _ pick the Cannons just to annoy me.”

“He's the tall one, right? Scamander?”

“Yeah,” Regulus said.

“I'd have said ‘the cute one’ or ‘the Jewish one’, but they're both cute and they're both Jewish, aren't they?”

“Max and Isaac are both Jewish,” Regulus said. He wasn’t sure how to navigate the rest of Mary’s claim. He thought Max was gorgeous, but he didn’t want to admit that, let alone to someone he barely knew.

“What, you don't think they're cute?”

“They're my best friends,” Regulus said. “But… well, yeah, I guess. They  _ are _ both objectively good-looking.”

“They are!” Mary said. “All  _ three _ of you are gorgeous, and  _ that’s _ just not fair to the other Houses.”

Regulus laughed. “I thought the common consensus was that my brother and his friends were the best looking ones here.”

“They're fit,” Mary allowed, “well, for the most part. But they're also such  _ arseholes _ – again, for the most part. Remus Lupin is nice. But I've never heard anyone say anything bad about you and your friends, and I've never seen any of you bully anyone or get into duels in the Great Hall, so…”

“So the bar is high,” Regulus drawled. 

Mary laughed. “Well, when you put it like that…”

“I don’t even think Max talks about cute boys,” Regulus said. “I haven’t really got any – experience.”

“Oh, it’s easy,” Mary said. “And my brother is gay,  _ and _ I’ve got gay friends, so I’ve got experience in talking about cute boys with gay boys, too.”

“Who’re your friends?” Regulus asked. Sirius and Max were the only other  _ gay _ blokes he knew at the school; he knew Rosier and Lupin were bisexual, and Crouch was interested in blokes, but he couldn’t see Mary talking to any of them. Well, maybe Lupin.

“I’m not outing anyone,” Mary said, “but Nigel’s very open about it.”

“Nigel Gallagher?” Regulus repeated. “The Gryffindor boys’ prefect in our year?”

“That’s him,” Mary said.

“I didn’t know,” Regulus said.

“He doesn’t really like Purebloods,” Mary said. “So I don’t think he’d have talked to you very much. But he’s really very nice once you get to know him. Besides, we’re both Muggleborns and  _ not _ English.”

“He’s Irish, isn’t he?” Regulus asked. 

“He is. And I’m Scottish, obviously.”

“Your accent sort of gives it away,” Regulus said.

Mary laughed. “Just like yours says you’re English. And  _ posh. _ But it’s all right. I think we’ll get on, anyway.”

“You think Gallagher won’t mind?” Regulus asked.

Mary grinned. “Not if I convert you to a Harpies fan. He loves them, too. I haven’t got any real like, family team we’ve all gone for, and – you’d never see an all women’s football team going up against the men. Probably because Muggle men would be terrified of getting their arses kicked by women – which they squarely would. Women are better at sport.”

“You think so?”

“I know so,” Mary said. “Honestly, Regulus, if I  _ weren’t _ terrified of heights, I bet I’d beat you at every single Quidditch game.”

“Good thing you are, then,” Regulus said. “Sirius would never let me live it down if Gryffindor  _ always _ beat us.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus encounters an unfriendly face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said "Barty Crouch gets worse"?  
Yeah  
(also warning for some homophobic slurs here)

Most of the student body had moved on after a few weeks. Regulus felt relieved, and, while he was sure he’d always resent being outed as he had, the actual  _ being out _ wasn’t quite as terrifying as his anxiety had made it out to be. Sure, most people treated him a bit differently, but no one seemed to antagonize him.

Well, except for Crouch.

Barty Crouch approached him in Ancient Runes while Emmeline was out sick, and Regulus knew immediately that it wasn’t going to end well. The look on Barty’s face told him quite enough.

“You know,” Barty said, “I never believed Rosier when he was going on about you – almost adorable, really, how pathetic he got over you last year – but if the rumour mill is to be believed… Rosier was right all along.”

“What do you want, Barty?” Regulus asked.

“Confirmation,” Barty said, leaning against Regulus’s desk.

“Confirmation of what, exactly? I’m sure Evan Rosier has said a lot about me.” He knew, though, exactly what Barty was talking about. He just wanted Barty to say whatever it was he was going to say and  _ leave. _

“Oh, he has,” Barty said, “but this concerns one thing in particular. You see… Rosier always insisted it would just take  _ time _ until you succumbed to his charms. He was confident that that was all that was needed.”

Regulus scoffed. Of course he had, the arrogant prat. “I’m not interested in Evan.”

“But you  _ are _ a flaming poofter, right?”

Regulus did, really, the only thing he could think to do in the situation: he lit Barty’s tie on fire with a lazy flick of his wand.

* * *

“Mr. Black, I cannot believe this of  _ you _ , of all students,” Professor Flitwick said, and Regulus wished he could disappear. “Your brother, perhaps, but  _ you _ have always seemed to have a good head on your shoulders. You’re a  _ prefect. _ Were there not multiple eyewitnesses, I’d assure Professor Babbling that she had the wrong student.”

“He called me a derogatory slur, sir,” Regulus said. “And  _ anyone _ will confirm that Crouch has had it out for me since first year. Not even just my friends, but his, too.”

Flitwick folded his hands. “What, precisely, did he call you that incensed you so, Mr. Black?”

Regulus shifted in his seat and wished that someone was there with him – Max or Isaac or Emmeline or even Sirius. He’d never been in trouble with a professor before, and he had no idea how to even handle the situation.

“Mr. Black? If you’d like to stay on the Quidditch team, let alone remain captain, or continue your prefecture, I do need an answer.”

He had no choice. “Crouch called me a flaming poofter because my mother’s written every pureblood in the country to tell them all I’m a ‘degenerate homosexual’. That was, at least according to my cousin Narcissa, the exact verbiage used. So I thought – I didn’t think. I lit his tie on fire. I’m sorry.”

Flitwick looked shocked at least. “I see,” he said, although he clearly didn’t see.

“Please don’t kick me off the Quidditch team, Professor,” Regulus pleaded. “I’m not – I’m not violent. This is the first time I’ve ever done more than… than wrestle with my brother.”

“I’ll have to speak with Professor Slughorn about Mr. Crouch. Fortunately, he wasn’t seriously injured.”

He’d have deserved it if he had been, Regulus thought bitterly. “Crouch has always had it out for me and my friends.”

“I’ll confirm that with a few other students. As it is… I think for  _ now, _ only Professor Babbling’s detention and the docked points.”

“But I’ll… stay on the Quidditch team and remain a Prefect?”

“I understand that you’re going through a very difficult time, Mr. Black,” Professor Flitwick said. “The world is not a kind place to those of us who are different… and during our teenage years, I know, rather less so. I’d recommend avoiding Mr. Crouch if at all possible. I’m aware that that is more easily said than done, but all the same.”

“Yes, Professor.”

“Mr. Black…”

“Yes, Professor?” Regulus asked. 

“I suggest you surround yourself with those who love and accept you for who you are. It can make a difficult time all the more bearable – and I do speak from experience.”

Regulus nodded. “My friends are all wonderful, sir. This wouldn’t have even happened if Emmeline hadn’t been out sick.”

“Let’s try to see that no such thing happens again. Self-defense is one thing… and I know you can’t dock points from another House, but do let myself or Professor Slughorn know if Mr. Crouch continues with this.”

“I-I will, sir. I’m sorry again.”

Professor Flitwick waved a hand. “This is the first time in five years that you’ve ever gotten into any trouble, and the cause was understandable. I’ll see to it that Mr. Crouch also faces consequences for his actions.”

Regulus couldn’t believe it. “Thank you, sir.”

“Now, why don’t you go back to your friends?”

Regulus didn’t need to be asked twice. He darted from the room and nearly ran into Evan Rosier in the corridor.

“I, er, sorry,” Regulus apologised.

“I heard you got detention,” Evan said. “Crouch has gone mental, claiming you’ve gone off the deep end. What happened?”

Regulus shrugged, not quite meeting Evan’s eyes. “I lit his tie on fire.”

Evan blinked. This had evidently  _ not _ been the answer he’d been anticipating. “You did  _ what _ ?”

Regulus shrugged again. “My mother must’ve sent a letter to the Crouches, too, because he came into Ancient Runes calling me a flaming poofter, and I thought – wouldn’t it be poetic justice if  _ he _ were the flaming one?”

Evan laughed, then. “Merlin, I wish I’d been there to see it! And it’s bloody ironic for him to go after  _ you _ for that. He doesn’t even  _ like _ girls.”

“Yeah, well,” Regulus said, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Neither do I. As I’m sure you’ve heard.”

Evan lowered his voice, then. “Alphard came by to see my father, after, and I… well I did a bit of eavesdropping.” Regulus didn’t like where this was going, but for some reason, he didn’t leave. “He said you left a  _ note _ ?”

“It had seemed like a good idea at the time. So that she knew I wouldn’t come back.”

Evan whistled. “You’ve got nerve, I’ll give you that. After a year and a half of denying it to me, you just go out and tell your mother in a note.”

“I’m not like you,” Regulus said, “or your dad. I don’t like girls – not like that – and I’d only be miserable with one.”

“Everyone has their tipping point, I suppose,” Evan allowed.

It was strange, Regulus thought, that Evan was treating him as if nothing had happened. As if he weren’t gay (or perhaps Evan had  _ always _ treated him as if he were gay). As if he hadn’t been disowned. Even his own friends had changed in the way they treated him, but with Evan – it was more of the same. It shouldn’t have been reassuring, Regulus knew. But it was.

* * *

His friends were less than pleased when he told him why he was late to lunch. At least, he thought, it was just Max and Isaac. Emmeline was still in the Hospital Wing, Dirk was at the Hufflepuff table, and Lily and Mary were at the Gryffindor table.

“You got  _ detention?” _ Isaac asked.

“What did you  _ do?” _ Max asked, food apparently forgotten for once.

“I – lit Barty Crouch’s tie on fire,” Regulus said. “In Ancient Runes. He called me a flaming poofter, so I – lit his tie on fire.”

“He called you a  _ what?” _ Max asked.

Regulus shrugged. “You heard me.” He didn’t really want to repeat himself again.

“Please tell me he got detention, too.”

“Flitwick said he’d talk to Slughorn about it, since Babbling didn’t hear anything – she just saw the fire.”

“Honestly, some burns would have served him well,” Isaac said.

“Isaac!”

“Crouch is a bully and  _ probably _ already a Death Eater. I really don’t think it’d be a shame if he got severely injured.”

“Well, if he  _ had _ been, my prefecture probably would have been suspended, and I’d have been kicked off the Quidditch team, so – much as I agree, maybe Rosier can go after him and we’ll kill two birds with one stone.”

“I really don’t think we should be wishing violence on people,” Max said. “Even Crouch. I just want him to leave us alone and maybe… I dunno, get expelled on his own accord.”

“He’ll never learn anything that way,” Isaac said. “I’m really glad none of us are stuck in the same House as him.”

“So am I,” Regulus said. 

“I can’t believe you got detention,” Max said. “That’s so unfair; everyone knows that Crouch antagonises you, and while you shouldn’t have actually  _ set him on fire, _ you can hardly be blamed for defending yourself from a bully.”

“I think that’s why Flitwick didn’t give me any sort of worse punishment,” Regulus said. 

“It’s still rubbish,” Max said. He grabbed a sandwich and took a bite. “Honestly, you don’t deserve  _ any _ punishment.”

Isaac pulled a face. “Max, can you  _ please _ not talk with your mouth full? It’s disgusting.”

“Piss off,” Max said. “I’m right.”

“You are,” Regulus said. “But – so is Isaac.” It was really quite telling that Regulus honestly  _ didn’t _ think talking with your mouth full was disgusting when it was Max. But, well, it wasn’t as adorable as he normally was.

Max rolled his eyes and swallowed his bite of sandwich. “Better?”

“Much,” Isaac said.

“I just hope whatever detention it is, it’s not too bad. Sirius has said some horror stories, and while I’m sure half are purely fictional… there’s  _ got _ to be a grain of truth to some of them.”

“We’ll smuggle you some treats from the kitchens to enjoy after,” Max said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure detention will go just fine.
> 
> We may or may not get an update next week - it all depends if I have a chance to post before I get on my flight. The following week (Nov 9th) will _not_ have an update, but we should be back to normal on the 16th.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus serves his first detention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh, you thought you'd seen the last of Evan?

Regulus nearly turned around and walked out of his detention when he saw the other student he was expected to serve it with. Evan grinned and waved at him. Professor Babbling looked unimpressed. “Mr. Black, please come in and sit down.”

Regulus did so, making a point not to look at Evan.

“I’d like to start by saying that I am  _ extremely _ disappointed in  _ both _ of you.”

Regulus looked down at his hands, but Evan said, “Professor, if Crouch didn’t want to get hexed, he should avoid going around calling people poofs.”

“Be that as it may, duelling in the corridors is expressly forbidden by school rules, Mr. Rosier.”

Regulus wondered quietly if Evan duelling Barty in the corridors had had anything to do with him, but he knew better than to ask.

“He came up to me and antagonised me,” Evan said.

“Mr. Rosier, that’s enough. Unless you’d rather two more detentions and twenty points from Slytherin.”

“No, ma’am,” Evan said.

“Very well,” Professor Babbling said. “Tonight, you will both be polishing the trophies in the trophy room – without magic. I think that’s a fair punishment for two pureblood boys, don’t you?”

Regulus tried not to pull a face at the idea of menial labour. To be sure, things were different at the Scamanders’, and he wasn’t allowed to use magic there, but they’d taken care of all the truly menial tasks. His chores had more involved tidying up his own room, cleaning up after himself, and helping cook.

“By the looks on your faces, I think I’ve found the perfect punishment.”

* * *

“This is absolute rubbish,” Evan said. “It was self defense! And what’s that wanker doing, now? Sitting in the common room, revising, completely undisturbed!”

“I thought you liked Crouch,” Regulus said.

Evan snorted. “I wanted to know what it was like to snog a boy, and he was the only one willing.”

“Bollocks,” Regulus said. “I don’t believe a word of it.”

Evan heaved a sigh and brushed his hair back out of his eyes. “Fine. If you must know – we were both rather too caught up in you, and it sort of… escalated. He’s still a wanker, and I’m still not stupid enough or desperate enough to do more than snog him. Wouldn’t be surprised if he’s told the whole school I’m gay.”

“But you’re not gay, right?” Regulus asked. He chose to avoid addressing the  _ both too caught up in him _ element.

“Like the nuances of human sexuality matter at all to Barty Crouch. He doesn’t think I haven’t noticed that girls have started to keep their distance. Or that could be Greengrass, really. She wasn’t pleased that I denied Vance was a lesbian.”

Regulus furrowed his brows and decided to focus on a particularly tough spot on an old trophy. “You denied that Emmeline was a lesbian?”

“Well, it was that or tell her you and I nearly snogged,” Evan said, “and I knew you’d be furious if I did that.”

Why did Evan even care if Regulus were furious with him? It wasn’t as if they were friends. Friendly, sure, if you could call Evan’s constant flirting and Regulus’s rebuffs  _ friendly. _ “Well, it’s not as if she’d marry me now, anyway.”

“No,” Evan agreed. “She’s pissed off about that. Accused me, of all people, of corrupting you. You were gay well before I ever started flirting with you.”

And, well, Regulus knew that was true. Max said it was innate, and Regulus couldn’t remember ever being particularly interested in girls besides trying to copy everything Narcissa did when he was younger (which had, really, been its own sign). Even if Evan  _ was _ the first bloke Regulus had been consciously aware of wanting to kiss.

“You can’t  _ turn _ someone gay,” Regulus said. “Trust me, if you could, I wouldn’t be.” He wasn’t sure he’d ever date Seraphina Greengrass, though, even if he were the straightest bloke alive.

“Oh, I know that,” Evan said. “For what it’s worth, honestly, I feel that… sometimes, were I born into a different family, or even if I simply had an  _ elder _ brother… I don’t know that I’d be set on marrying a witch.”

“But you do  _ like _ witches like that.”

“Well, yeah,” Evan said. “But I’m sort of – it’s not, like, fifty-fifty, or anything. And I sort of… lean toward wizards, I think. Who knows – maybe I’ll fall in love with a witch, anyway.”

“I can’t even picture the future,” Regulus said. “I used to try not to, but now… I’ve got to think of something. And I can’t.”

“Oh, that’s easy,” Evan said. “You’ll probably go into a career your parents would never approve of – Quidditch or worse: something demeaning like working in a bookshop – find some wizard who adores you – which won’t be difficult – and settle down with a home library and three Kneazles.”

That sounded  _ really _ nice. He tried to picture it, then, but it still felt shaky. “You really think?”

“You’re disowned, so you’ll have to work for a living, and it’s not as if you’re stupid enough to try to fight against – well, you know. And why would you fight for it, when you’ve been disowned?”

And when he didn’t think Muggleborns or even Muggles were inherently inferior to Purebloods (at least, not anymore) – but he didn’t tell Evan that. “But you think I’ll – find someone?”

Evan rolled his eyes. “All right, let’s assume you marry someone you already know. In this school alone, within a year or two of us – which isn’t as wide a net as I’d cast for, y’know, the rest of your life – and not including your brother, there’s Scamander, Lupin, Goldstein –”

_ “Goldstein?” _

Evan snorted. “He hasn’t  _ said _ it, but you’ve seen the way he looks at your brother. Besides, the singular straight friend phenomenon is a myth.”

Regulus wanted to argue that, but, well… Isaac  _ was _ taking Muggle Studies at Sirius’s suggestion, when he’d been half raised by Muggles. “Who else?”

“Myself, obviously, Crouch – though you would  _ never _ , but it  _ is _ a numbers game – and I’ll kiss a Mudblood if Cresswell’s straight. Then there’s Fenwick, for that matter, and Gallagher. Corner, Aubrey, probably half of the blokes in Slytherin and Ravenclaw both at least go both ways, to be honest. I avoid Hufflepuffs as a general rule, but I’m sure there’s a few in there. It’s not terrible odds,” Evan said. “And that’s not even considering those who’ve already graduated, or who went to Beauxbâtons or Durmstrang or Ilvermorny or Koldovstvoretz.”

“You’ve thought a lot about this,” Regulus said.

“I like to know my competition,” Evan said with a wink. “And none of that is even taking into account how gorgeous and clever and lovely you are. Trust me, in a year’s time, you’ll have a line of blokes set out to date you, and you’ll have forgotten all about me.”

Regulus felt that now-familiar stirring in the pit of his stomach. “Are you actually serious about that, Evan? I can never tell with you.”

“Slip some veritaserum into my tea at breakfast and you can find out.” Evan finished shining his trophy and walked over to Regulus. “Or you can just believe me when I say that I am  _ deadly _ serious when it comes to you.”

“Evan, I’m serious.”

“So am I,” Evan said. “I still think Sirius interrupting us two years ago was the most tragic moment of my life. Might’ve been my only chance to find out what kissing you feels like.”

Regulus wasn’t sure why he did it, but he found himself moving closer to Evan, who stood stock still. Evan was a few inches taller than him – not as tall as Max, but enough that Regulus had to angle his head. “What about now?” he asked.

“Regulus, if you’re teasing me…”

In response, Regulus closed the gap between them and kissed him. It wasn’t the same as it had been with Max – Evan  _ clearly _ knew what he was doing, and wasted really no time in slipping his tongue into Regulus’s mouth. Regulus was dimly aware that if they got caught doing this during detention, they’d both be in a lot of trouble, but he was enjoying the kiss too much to care.

After a minute or so, Regulus pulled away. “I, er, perhaps we should… go back to cleaning, before anyone comes to check on us.”

He glanced at Evan, who looked far more elated than he ought to have. It was just a kiss, wasn’t it? “Merlin, Regulus,” he breathed after a moment. “I never thought you’d actually do it.”

Regulus shrugged and turned to a plaque. He hadn’t, either. He thought, then, of Max. They’d never really discussed what had happened that summer, beyond the fact that Regulus was in no place to have a boyfriend, let alone one who was also his very best friend in the world. That didn’t mean that Regulus didn’t have feelings for him, much as he wanted to deny it.

“I was serious when I said I’d let you do whatever you wanted to me,” Evan said after a moment. “I can be – whatever you want me to be.”

He wondered, then, if he’d made another mistake. “I’m not looking for a boyfriend,” he said, focusing on the plaque and trying to avoid any glance at Evan.

“We can snog without being boyfriends,” Evan said. “If you want. Just… let me know.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> reminder that there will be **no update** next week, as I will be in Berlin without my laptop, so posting will resume on the 16th


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus has a prefect patrol with Augustus Selwyn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and we're back!

Regulus wasn’t sure why he was set to patrol with Augustus Selwyn. To be fair, he’d never really had a  _ negative _ interaction with Selwyn, and Mary spoke highly of him – and she was a Muggleborn – but he’d really rather patrol with Emmeline. Or Dirk. Or Lily. Or Mary.

Selwyn was objectively handsome, if not Regulus’s type at all, and the thought  _ did _ occur to him that it may be a set up. After all, it was common knowledge by now that  _ he _ was gay, even if he didn’t know about Selwyn.

Regulus, for his part, still didn’t think he was ready to actually  _ date _ anyone – not that, when he  _ was, _ he thought that a Pureblood Slytherin would be his first choice – or second, really. No matter how unobjectionable Regulus found him personally. It was the principle.

“How long have you been friends with Mary?” Selwyn asked.

Regulus shrugged. “Lily thought we’d get on, so she introduced us after the first prefects’ meeting of the year.”

“Lily Evans?”

“Yeah,” Regulus said. “She and I have been friends since my second year, so that’s – just shy of three years, now.”

“You’ve been friends with a Muggleborn for  _ three years?” _

Regulus shrugged. “Yeah. Isaac’s mum is a Muggleborn, and I met her in first year. Not that that’s the same thing, but…”

“My parents would’ve killed me.”

“Mine didn’t know. At least about Lily. They might’ve known about Isaac’s mum. I’ve really no idea how old she is. She very well might have gone to school with them. If she had, though, no one’s mentioned it.”

“My parents don’t even know I’m – friends with Mary. Not that that was my intention.”

“Not quite up to becoming a complete and total blood traitor?” Regulus asked.

“It’s not as if I’ve got the family line to worry about. My brother’s got that all secured; he’s even got a  _ son. _ You  _ did _ hear about how Minister Fawley’s granddaughter is engaged to marry Goldstein’s brother?”

“I knew David was engaged,” Regulus said, and he’d even known that David’s fiancée wasn’t Jewish. “I didn’t realise it was to Hector Fawley’s granddaughter, though. Isaac just said she wasn’t Jewish. I don’t even know her  _ first _ name.”

“It’s Cassandra Fawley. Not that the Goldsteins aren’t _officially_ neutral, at least insofar as they haven't made their support for the Ministry public, but they’re not Purebloods. It’s not as if she’s the last in her family line, either.”

“But they’re Half-Bloods,” Regulus said. “With close ties to Muggle culture. I doubt the  _ Fawleys _ care about that, but – families like ours are bound to be upset. Ridiculous though it is.”

“I think my family would rather I marry a Half-Blood than the way things are likely to turn out,” Augustus said.

“What d’you mean?”

“It’s not obvious?”

“Evidently not.”

“I have no intentions of marrying a witch – of any blood status.”

Well, that was a roundabout way of saying he was gay. Regulus had typically gone for the direct route himself. “Oh,” he said. “I sort of – thought… you and Mary…?”

Augustus laughed.  _ “Mary? _ Merlin, no. My sister told me what Mulciber did to her, and – I couldn’t stomach the thought of what they’d done, so I – apologised. Talked to Burbage about – working through my issues with Muggleborns and Muggles, and – Mary and I sort of… became friends. She’s lovely, but – no. And not –  _ not _ because of her blood, but – she’s a witch.”

“And you only go for wizards?” Regulus asked.

“Exactly,” Augustus said.

“As long as you haven’t got your eye on anyone like Crouch, I obviously don’t mind.”

Augustus pulled a face. “Merlin, no. He’s vile.”

“And you actually – asked the Muggle Studies professor to help you work through your prejudices?”

“Yeah,” Augustus said. “I still sort of – catch myself sometimes. But – you probably do, too, don’t you? I don’t think it’ll ever go away, not entirely.”

“I think even families like the Weasleys think bigoted things  _ sometimes,” _ Regulus said.

“How’d you work through it?”

“Like I said,” Regulus said. “Isaac’s mum is a Muggleborn. Between her and Dirk Cresswell in the Slug Club and the handful of Muggleborns in my House – I was confronted with the reality that blood purity doesn’t mean  _ anything, _ especially not when it comes to someone’s magical aptitude. I mean – we’ve had Squibs, in my family. They’ve been disowned, but they existed, and I’ve had to trace my family line back to the middle ages from childhood. There’s not been a Muggle or Muggleborn or Half-Blood in sight that didn’t result in whoever married them getting disowned.”

“I haven’t really – had that. But I sort of realised I had a problem when – well, you know Nigel Gallagher?”

“The Gryffindor prefect?” Regulus asked. He’d never really interacted with Gallagher, not one-on-one, but he knew that Gallagher was a Muggleborn, and that he was one of Gryffindor’s Beaters. And, at least according to Mary, that he was gay.

“Yeah. So – we were partnered in Potions, last year, and he told me that – there was no difference between me and Mulciber – that we were both just as bigoted and racist, only Mulciber was overt about it. And – he was right. And I’d never thought of myself being like Mulciber in any way before – I thought I didn’t  _ mind _ Muggleborns, but I was still calling them slurs, and I wasn’t doing anything to distance myself from people like Mulciber, and that – sort of gave me the kick I needed.”

“Oh,” Regulus said. He hadn’t had anything so dramatic happen to him – beyond, maybe, Isaac calling him out when he’d said that he thought Sirius was probably just racist, back in second year, but Regulus had already acknowledged that Muggleborns were just as good as he was by that point, really. He’d had more to work through, but it hadn’t been like Isaac’s words had been a real wake-up call.

“He still thinks Mary’s mad for trusting me,” Augustus said.

“Well, why do you care what Gallagher thinks?” Regulus asked. “And I’m not saying that because – he’s a Muggleborn, or anything. But he  _ is _ a Gryffindor, and you really  _ can’t _ please everyone.”

Augustus didn’t respond, and instead kicked a bit at the stone floor. And – oh.

“Do you fancy him?”

“It’s never going to happen,” Augustus said. “It’s different for you. Boys can’t resist you. And you’re not – so painfully shy that it’s mistaken for brooding half the time.”

“I’m sure if you just  _ talk _ to him,” Regulus said. He didn’t want to get into Augustus’s claim that boys couldn’t resist him, because that wasn’t true at all.

“Because Gryffindors, as a rule, are so sensible? It’s not going to happen.”

“Augustus –”

_ “Please, _ call me Gus,” Selwyn said.

“Gus, then,” Regulus said. “You can’t know for sure that nothing will happen unless you try.”

“So I’ll just approach him and tell him that I’m mad for him and that I’m doing my best to work through the bigoted purist bullshit my parents raised me with? That it doesn’t matter that my brother is  _ probably _ a Death Eater – that that wouldn’t  _ immediately _ put him in danger, even if, by some miracle, he  _ agreed _ after all that? Honestly, would that even work on a Ravenclaw?”

Regulus considered it. “Yeah, probably. Most of us. Not Isaac, I don’t think, but – most of us, yeah.”

“I suppose I really shouldn’t ask a Ravenclaw how to help with a Gryffindor.”

“You could challenge him to a game – racing or gobstones or chess – and if you win, he’s got to hear you out, and if he wins, he can hex you. That sounds – Gryffindor, doesn’t it?”

Gus laughed. “It does, actually. It sounds like your  _ brother.” _

“I’ll pretend as if I haven’t just been  _ gravely insulted,” _ Regulus huffed. “Good thing Isaac isn’t around, because he’d never let me live that down.”

“Is there anything between you and Goldstein?”

It was Regulus’s turn to laugh.  _ “Isaac? _ Never.”

“What’s wrong with him? He seems decent.”

“There’s nothing  _ wrong _ with him,” Regulus said. “He’s one of my best friends, and I – I adore him. We’ve got common interests, and he’s the  _ only _ one of my friends, besides Mary, now, who actually cares about Quidditch, but – I’m just not attracted to him. I don’t even think he’s  _ not _ objectively good-looking, but – I’ve never thought about him that way, and the idea is ridiculous. Max has a theory that Isaac’s got such a middle child complex that he’s  _ got _ to marry an only child, and I dunno about all  _ that, _ but – what makes a good friend isn’t necessarily what makes a good  _ boyfriend. _ We haven’t got any chemistry.”

“You sound like this isn’t the first time someone’s asked you that,” Gus said.

“It’s not,” Regulus said. “People invariably think I’m dating either Max, Isaac, or Dirk.”

“Well, what about Scamander or Cresswell?”

“Max is going to end up with someone far better than any of us; probably a celebrity, or something. And Dirk’s perfectly nice, but he’s straight. And if he isn’t, then he hasn’t told me. But – honestly, I don’t really want a boyfriend right now. I’ve got too much to worry about.”

“Oh, I understand that,” Gus said. “I’m not Quidditch  _ captain, _ but I have got OWLs and Quidditch, too. It’s a lot to balance.”

“Exactly,” Regulus said.

“I  _ want _ a boyfriend,” Gus said. “But it’s not going to happen.”

“I’m telling you: Gryffindors like betting and contests.”

“So do Slytherins,” Gus said with a grin. “It might work. And – hopefully you can find someone who’s just happy to go for a snog or two. Until you end up marrying Isaac Goldstein.”

_ “Not _ Isaac,” Regulus said. “He says he’s straight, anyway. And I wouldn’t even if he weren’t.” But – well, he did  _ sort _ of have someone who’d been offering to snog him whenever he wanted, no strings attached, for a while now, didn’t he? Maybe he’d ask.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've set up a survey to see the interest in me potentially writing a chanukah fic (or several) with the Ravenclaw AU cast [HERE](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/XV78Y8B)! Please let me know what you think, if you've any interest in such a thing. It will stay open for two weeks (until the 30th of November)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus skives off prefect patrol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where that rating comes in!  
This chapter is A Lot.

This was a terrible idea. Regulus knew it as he skived off patrol to meet Evan in an abandoned classroom. He was going to get into  _ so much _ trouble if he got caught, and for what? Evan Rosier?

But Evan was too fucking charming, and he was far too good a kisser, and it wasn’t as if anything would  _ come _ from it. That, more than anything, is what drove him to meet Evan in the abandoned classroom. There was no chance of things developing any further than simply just fooling around. Evan was a dedicated, proper Pureblood son, and he was dead set on marrying a proper, Pureblood witch. That meant that the risk was minimal.

Evan was waiting for him when he got there, sitting on top of the professor’s desk. “I was beginning to think you wouldn’t show,” Evan drawled.

“It’s not as if I’m a Hufflepuff,” Regulus said, casting some privacy charms to ensure no one  _ did _ interrupt them. Not that they should – this corridor was on his own patrol duty. “I can bend the rules.”

And then Evan was kissing him. He buried his fingers in Regulus’s hair, and they were so  _ close. _ Evan pressed his body against his. Regulus pulled away.

“Er, maybe we should establish some – ground rules?”

“Ground rules?” Evan repeated.

Regulus nodded. “So that we’re both – clear.”

Evan huffed. “All right. Well, as I’ve said multiple times before, you can do whatever you want to me, and I’ll be whatever you want me to be to you.”

“You’ve got – no ground rules you want me to respect?”

“No,” Evan said. “I haven’t.”

“So you’d be fine with it if I told the entire school you were sneaking around snogging a blood traitor?”

Evan rolled his eyes. “It’s not as if you’re properly a blood traitor,” he said. “You’re just  _ gay _ and don’t want to marry a witch. So, yes, I would.”

“What defines ‘blood traitor’ then? Because you know I think – Muggleborns are just as – apt as we are.”

Evan rolled his eyes again. “Are we going to snog, or not?”

_ “I _ want to set some ground rules. I don’t want either of us telling anyone. This is just – snogging.”

“All right,” Evan said.

“Above the waist,” Regulus said. “And no leaving marks – we both play Quidditch, and people will notice.”

“That’s probably a good point,” Evan said. “Anything else?”

Regulus thought about it. It’d be secret, just snogging, above the waist, and not leaving marks. “Not – right now,” he said.

“Good,” Evan said. He kissed him again, and Regulus pulled him close.

* * *

He really hadn’t anticipated it to happen more than a few times, but between prefect patrols and Quidditch practise and Slug Club and Isaac’s latest ridiculous crush (on Lily Evans, which just made things _awkward)_ and revising for OWLs, he rather thought that he deserved some stress relief.

The only thing, really, was that things got steadily more heated. Before they left for Christmas (well, Regulus thought he’d be celebrating Chanukah with the Scamanders, but Sirius had made him swear up and down that he’d at least  _ stop by _ the Potters’ for Christmas), Regulus met up with Evan.

They were snogging, and then Evan started trailing kisses down his neck. “You said above the waist, yeah?” 

“Yeah,” Regulus breathed.

Evan untied Regulus’s tie and unbuttoned his shirt. Regulus helped him untuck it and push it off. “Fuck, it’s cold.”

Evan smirked. “I think I can help with that,” he said. He trailed kisses down Regulus’s chest, and oh  _ fuck _ why hadn’t they done this before?

“A-above the waist,” Regulus managed.

“Of course,” Evan said, not taking his lips off of Regulus’s skin. “Anything for you, Reg.”

* * *

“Are you doing anything for Valentine’s Day?” Max asked in the middle of January. They were in the dormitory, and Regulus had been polishing his broom (that wasn’t a euphemism, thank you very much, Sirius).

“No. I haven’t got anything planned,” Regulus said.

“No secret boyfriend?” Max asked.

“You know as well as I do that I’m not in any sort of place to get a proper boyfriend,” Regulus said without looking up. “Even secret.” He clipped some stray twigs. 

“Not even a steamy Valentine’s Day date?” Max asked.

“Maybe next year,” Regulus said. “When I haven’t got OWLs on top of prefect duty and Quidditch.” He examined his broom, and found another stray twig. “Why’re you asking? You’re Jewish – it is  _ Saint _ Valentine’s Day, isn’t it?”

“Now you sound like Isaac,” Max said. “I just think it’d be nice to spend a nice winter day with a boy I like, and loads of chocolate.”

Regulus wondered if Max meant him – but that was ridiculous. Surely Max had gotten over him by now. He had to have realised, living with Regulus full time, that he could do so much better. “Well, Isaac won’t have a date, either. Lily’s certainly not about to go out with him, and he’s sort of – fixated, isn’t he?”

“Well, she  _ is _ one of like… three Jewish girls in the school who isn’t related to him. Or me, but that’s beside the point. And you know how he’s always been attached to Muggle culture.”

“If Isaac and Lily get together, I’ll be very happy for both of them,” Regulus said, “but it doesn’t take a genius to see that she’s not interested in him like that.”

“No,” Max agreed.

“So why don’t the three of us go to Hogsmeade together? Maybe invite Emmeline and Dirk, go to Honeydukes…”

Max didn’t respond immediately. Regulus inspected his broom and deemed it acceptable. 

“All three of us could be fun,” Max said.

* * *

He did end up spending most of the night before Valentine’s Day with Evan in another abandoned classroom. This time, though, he wasn’t skiving off of prefect patrols.

He was snogging Evan on top of a desk when Evan pulled away. “Are you still set on the above the waist rule?” Evan asked.

Well, that hadn’t been what Regulus was expecting. He knew his answer  _ should have _ been a hard and fast “yes,” but – well, he had to admit that half the time, any more, their snogging sessions left him more frustrated than he’d been when he’d arrived.

“I’m not having sex with you, Evan,” Regulus said.

“But… can I touch you?”

Some part of his brain shouted that this should have been Max he was with, and not Evan. That  _ Max _ should be the first boy to touch him, but – their friendship would certainly  _ never _ recover from that. 

“Maybe just – outside of our clothes for now?”

“All right,” Evan said, and kissed him.

* * *

Gus caught him on the way back. Fuck. Regulus tried his best to look like he hadn’t just been snogging someone. He’d at least cleaned up the mess in his trousers.

“I thought you had off patrol today,” Gus said.

“I do,” Regulus said.

Gus gave him the once-over. “It’s not as if I’d tell anyone, but you know – it could have been Greengrass. Or some goody two-shoes Hufflepuff.”

“Or Lupin,” Regulus said. He didn’t think he’d live it down if Sirius found out – and Sirius  _ would _ find out if Lupin did.

“Exactly. And Mary would ask for details.”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “I know she would.”

“Just be careful,” Gus said. “Don’t want you getting kicked off the Quidditch team. I want to beat you fair and square.”

Regulus scoffed. “Keep dreaming, Gus. We’ve just beaten  _ Gryffindor. _ We can handle Slytherin.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself to sleep at night,” Gus said. “Do you want me to walk with you to Ravenclaw Tower, so you don’t get into any trouble?”

Regulus nearly refused, but – well, the company was nice. And Gus did understand a lot that neither Max nor Evan could comprehend. “All right, but don’t get any ideas.”

“Have you got something against Purebloods? Or Slytherins?” Gus teased.

“I’ve got something against fooling around with the opposing team’s Seeker.”

Gus laughed. “I can’t fault you there.”

* * *

He really should be with Max, he knew, as Evan kissed him. It was Max’s face that he saw when he closed his eyes, and he  _ really  _ needed to get this under control. 

“Reg?” Evan asked after a few minutes.

Regulus opened his eyes, and yes, this was definitely Evan. Blonde hair, blue-grey eyes, high cheekbones. Not Max. “Yeah?”

“I want to touch your cock. Not just through your trousers, but properly.”

Oh. It was far from the most romantic proposal, and Regulus pulled away a bit. “What?”

“If you don’t want to, we can keep doing what we’re doing. But I want to.”

The idea was overwhelming. In his fantasies, it had always been Max – even when he knew that Max would likely be disgusted if he ever found out. Max, after all, was his best friend –  _ not _ his boyfriend, and Max would never  _ be _ his boyfriend.

Still, he couldn’t deny that he was curious. Sirius swore up and down that letting someone else do it was miles better than doing it yourself. And it wasn’t like Max would ever touch him, and at least he was attracted to Evan, unlike Corner (who was, Regulus knew, nevertheless a much better  _ person _ than Evan was).

“All right,” Regulus said.

Evan had evidently not been expecting Regulus to agree to easily, because he just sort of stared at him then. “Really?”

“Yeah. I mean – just with our hands. I don’t, er, know about…”

“No, yeah, absolutely,” Evan said. He kissed him, slow and lingering. “Like I said: whatever you want.” He kissed Regulus’s neck. “Would you… like to… touch me, too?”

He supposed the mechanics of it wouldn’t be too different from touching himself, it  _ was _ probably only fair to reciprocate when he had no actual objections, and he probably could use the practise for when he got a proper boyfriend. 

“All right,” Regulus said. “Sure.”

Evan kissed him then, and then untied his tie, unbuttoned his shirt, and trailed kisses down his chest. Regulus closed his eyes. He felt Evan reach for his belt buckle and unbuckle it slowly. Evan unbuttoned Regulus’s trousers, and then pulled away. Regulus opened his eyes.

Evan was looking at him intently. “Reg, are you sure you want to do this?” he asked. “I mean – with  _ me? _ And not just because Scamander won’t?”

“Yeah,” Regulus said, which was mostly true. He wasn’t  _ just _ doing this because he knew Max wouldn’t; he trusted Evan to respect his wishes and not push him into anything he wasn’t comfortable with, and he really did think he could use the practise. He knew his nerves would already drive him mad when it mattered.

Evan blushed. “O-oh. All right.”

Regulus kissed him as he untied his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. He ran his hands down Evan’s chest, and then unbuckled his belt and reached down to cup him outside of his trousers.

“Oh,  _ fuck, _ Reg,” Evan breathed. “I want you so bad.  _ Please _ touch me.”

So he reached inside of Evan’s trousers and did just that.

_ “Fuck,” _ Evan hissed. He took Regulus in his own hand after a few seconds, and shit, Sirius was right; this felt  _ much _ better than it did on his own.

Regulus allowed himself to close his eyes, and after what had to be less than a minute after he’d started, he felt Evan’s release in his hand as Evan moaned his name. He half-expected Evan to stop then, but he didn’t. He kept going, and Regulus could feel himself getting closer and closer until –

“Did you just say  _ ‘Max’?” _

He had. Even through the haze, Regulus knew he had. He hadn’t  _ meant _ to! 

“I, er…”

Fuck, fuck fuck. What the fuck was  _ wrong _ with him? He didn’t even particularly  _ like _ Evan, and he knew  _ he’d _ be pissed off if Evan said someone else’s name. Especially after Regulus had told him that Max had nothing to do with this.

He cracked one eye open to see Evan’s back to him as he grabbed his tie and stuffed it in his pocket. “Fucking – fuck, Reg. I should have fucking known.” He went to the door and stopped. “I – I really don’t think we should do this again. Any of it.”

He didn’t wait for Regulus to respond before leaving the room.

Well, shit.

Regulus wasn’t quite sure why, but he felt guilty and vaguely ill. He sat there on the desk for a few more minutes before cleaning himself up, getting dressed, and going back to the dormitory and going straight to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The [Chanukah fic interest survey](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/XV78Y8B) is still open until the 30th of November! It's just a few short questions, so if you've any interest at all, please take a moment to fill it out.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus feels shitty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sirius is back!

The events of the previous night seemed as if they were playing on a loop in his head. He’d known the whole time that Evan Rosier hadn’t been who he’d  _ really  _ wanted to be with, but he hadn’t been about to ruin everything with Max by telling him he’d gone and caught feelings for him. 

Max might well never speak to him again, or at the very least, he’d probably be horrified that he’d spent so much time clinging to Regulus and cuddling with him when Regulus had spent so much of that time wanting nothing more than to kiss him and hold him and make him gasp and moan and tell him how important he was to him.

He was sat with Max in the dormitory, together on Regulus’s bed (as Max’s bed was a mess), with books strewn about under the broad pretense of revising. They were shoulder to shoulder, and Regulus rested his head on Max’s shoulder as they read their notes together.

Evan Rosier had touched his cock. More than that – he’d stroked him until he’d come – and Regulus had done the same to him – but it had been  _ Max’s _ name on Regulus’s lips, because he was a bonafide idiot, and he wanted to be with Max, but Max didn’t  _ want _ him. Not like that.

And Regulus didn’t know if his guilt and anxiety was because he’d engaged in mutual masturbation with another boy, or if it was because he’d been thinking of Max the entire time he’d been with Evan, but everything about it felt  _ wrong. _

“Max,” Regulus said suddenly. “Have you ever been with anyone?”

Max didn’t reply immediately, but Regulus felt his entire body tense. Regulus wondered if he’d be better off asking Sirius. “You know I haven’t,” Max said after a moment.

“Well, I wouldn’t say I  _ know _ ,” Regulus said.

“Reg, I tell you and Isaac  _ everything _ .  _ Believe _ me, if I’d been with someone, you’d both know it.”

That was probably true enough, Regulus realised, with a strange feeling of guilt in his gut, so he continued, “But you’ve… thought about it?”

Max’s cheeks flushed red. “Of course I have. I’m a virgin, not a  _ child.” _

“Because… and maybe I should be asking Sirius instead…”

“You can ask me,” Max said. “You can ask me anything, you know that.”

“Every time I…  _ think about it _ , it feels…  _ wrong _ .”

Max regarded Regulus with some impenetrable look he didn’t much like. “More wrong than thinking about girls?”

Regulus considered it. Thinking about girls, at best, made him feel nothing… at worst, it made him feel ill. “It’s…  _ different _ . I don’t know about  _ more _ .”

“Like,” Max said, “you’re breaking into the restricted section of the library. Like you know you shouldn’t, but you  _ really _ want to?”

“Yes!” Regulus said, “that’s… a surprisingly apt comparison!”

“You’re picking the wrong blokes,” Max said, and it felt like a hex to the gut.

“What do you mean?”

Max rolled his eyes. “Reg, I’m not  _ stupid _ . Barty Crouch has stopped picking on you, and your prefect patrols last much longer than Emmeline’s. You’re picking the wrong guys.  _ Whatever _ you have with Crouch – and I  _ don’t _ want to know the details – it’s not who you should be with. He’s vile.”

It took Regulus a second to wrap his head around his friend’s words. Did Max  _ really _ think he’d do anything with a boy who’d bullied him since first year? “It’s not Crouch,” he said. “Why should I do anything with  _ Crouch _ ?”

Max hesitated. “It’s… not Crouch?”

“Merlin, no!” The very fucking idea was absurd, really. “If I had to guess, I’d say that Crouch is avoiding me so I don’t set him on fire again. Which I wouldn’t. But he doesn’t need to know that.”

“Then, er… who…? If you don’t mind my asking.”

Regulus cleared his throat. This was Max, his best friend. He could tell him the truth. “Evan Rosier.”

“ _ Evan Rosier _ ?” Max’s pitch went up  _ at least _ four octaves, and Regulus winced.

“Every other boy in this school who’s  _ interested _ in other boys has shagged my brother. It’s not as if I’ve been left a variety of options.”

Max cleared his throat. “ _ I _ haven’t slept with your brother.”

“Okay,” Regulus said, and he felt some strange relief at the confession. But Max was his  _ best friend, _ and Max didn’t  _ actually _ want him. “And I’m not exactly going to go out and fuck up my friendship with my best friend, now, am I?”

“...No,” Max said quietly after a moment. “I rather think not.” He started gathering his books. “If you talk to Sirius, he’ll tell you the same.” He left in a rush, and Regulus felt like the worst person in the world.

He couldn’t even snog another bloke properly without ruining everything. He didn’t really care about ruining things with Evan, but – he’d never meant to upset  _ Max _ in all of this.

* * *

It was easier than Regulus had thought to get Sirius alone.

“Why,” Sirius began, his voice low and dangerous and Regulus actually found himself  _ terrified _ of his older brother in the first time in years, “would you  _ ever _ think  _ Evan Rosier _ an acceptable person to fool about with?”

“I… I don’t know,” Regulus confessed. “Everyone else I could think of has already shagged you, except for Barty Crouch, and there’s something…  _ off _ about that.”

“I’ve never shagged your friend Max,” Sirius said.

“But he’s my best friend!” Regulus said. “That’s  _ different _ !”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Better Max than Rosier.”

“Sirius, are you going to help me, or not? Because I  _ hate _ feeling like this, and Max wasn’t much help at all…”

Sirius sighed and flopped down onto a patch of grass. “He’s not… entirely wrong,” he started. “It being Rosier probably doesn’t help.”

Regulus slowly sat down next to his brother. “But…?”

“But Max Scamander is incredibly well-adjusted and grew up with two loving parents who have always supported him no matter what. I’m not saying it’s  _ easy _ for him being gay, but… it’s easier for him than it is for us.” Sirius ruffled Regulus’s hair, and Regulus shoved at him.

“ _ Stop _ .”

“Fine, fine,” Sirius said with a grin. “It’s just something you’ve got to come to terms with. There’s nothing wrong with it, and when you’re with a great guy… you’d  _ never _ want to be straight. Our parents did a number on us. Talking to Uncle Alphard helped… as did my mates assuring me I wasn’t some sort of freak.”

Sirius’s words made an alarming amount of sense, and Regulus suspected that there was something very deeply wrong here.

“But definitely ditch the arsehole. He’s a piece of shit, and that has everything to do with how he treats other people, and nothing to do with who he wants to shag.” Sirius threw an arm around his brother and leaned in to whisper, “You know… there’s something to be said about going outside of your comfort zone… but no one who talked about that was ever talking about shagging a Death Eater.”

“He’s not a Death Eater,” Regulus said. Well, not  _ yet, _ anyway.

“Then he’ll be one by the end of the year,” Sirius said.

“But…” Regulus said, “it’s like… I can’t imagine properly shagging a bloke.”

“Then imagine it,” Sirius said. “I had the same issue, and Moony told me it was internalized homophobia, and two weeks later I was sucking Bertram Aubrey off.”

“You are unbelievably  _ crass _ ,” Regulus complained. He couldn’t imagine… two weeks… 

“For you, it’ll be letting yourself get off to an old glamor shot of Stubby Boardman in the Prefect’s bathroom.”

“ _ Sirius _ .” He knew his brother was joking, but his anxiety gnawed at him; did Sirius  _ really _ think he’d never  _ masturbated _ before? He was  _ fifteen! _

“ _ Fine _ ,” Sirius huffed. “It’ll be fantasizing about holding Max Scamander’s hand and walking off into the sunset, is that better?”

“I  _ told you _ …”

“Reg,” Sirius said. “Was Evan Rosier your first kiss?”

Regulus felt his face flush. “You know, that’s absolutely none of your business!”

Sirius got an absolutely sly look on his face, and Regulus hated it. “Ooh, he  _ wasn’t, _ was he? Regulus Arcturus Black, was your first kiss none other than a certain Maximus Middle-Name-Redacted Scamander?”

“His middle name is Patroclus,” Regulus said, but he didn’t deny it. After all, Sirius had walked in on their near-kiss that summer. It wasn’t a stretch to assume that he and Max had properly kissed at some point.

“Oh, Merlin, and his parents really thought he’d grow up to be  _ straight _ ? Maximus Patroclus… sounds like the lead in some trashy historical novel set in ancient Greece about two Spartans in love.”

Regulus shoved at his brother, but his heart wasn’t in it.

“Reg,” Sirius said, voice surprisingly soft. “You know, if you’ve feelings for Max…”

“I haven’t got feelings for Max,” Regulus said, a bit too forcefully. He couldn’t  _ admit _ to those feelings, let alone to Sirius, who would gloat, or worse: try to push them together.

“All right,” Sirius said, “but that doesn’t change the fact that there are definitely boys in this school who would fall all over you, who haven’t shagged me, and who  _ aren’t _ future Death Eaters. I can prepare you a list, if you’d like.  _ All The Gay Boys At Hogwarts Sirius Black Hasn’t Shagged.” _

“Is it just Max, Evan, Crouch, and some students who are too young for you?”

“And some closet cases,” Sirius added with a grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <s>Next week, instead of a new chapter, we'll get to see some of Sirius's point of view.</s>
> 
> between this chapter and next, please read [Before Troubling Yourself Any Further](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21708460), in which we see Sirius's point of view (as he meddles)


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sirius surprises Regulus

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find Sirius's list [here](https://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/post/189536697706)!

In his defense, Regulus did not  _ actually _ expect a list, much less one that Sirius brandished at the Ravenclaw table over breakfast two days later. 

“What is  _ that?” _ Isaac asked.

“A very special list I’ve prepared for my darling brother,” Sirius said with a wink.

Max leaned in to read over Regulus’s shoulder. “‘All The Gay (and bisexual) Boys At Hogwarts Sirius Black Hasn’t Shagged’? Really?”

“Look, you’re top of the list!” Sirius said. “And it’s colour-coded, by House!” Max flushed a deep red, and Sirius blathered on. “I had help, of course.”

“Do I even want to ask?” Regulus asked. He didn’t want  _ anyone _ knowing about this, much less half of Gryffindor House.

“Oh, just my friends. Plus Evans and Macdonald, since they know you better than my friends do. See, at the bottom there.”

“Lily Evans?”

“She’s as much of a meddler as the rest of us, you know.”

“Who’s on it?” Isaac asked. “Besides Max, apparently.”

Sirius skimmed the list. “Corner, Rosier, Crouch, Selwyn…”

“Selwyn?” Regulus asked. He knew that Gus Selwyn was gay, of course, but he didn’t think he was actually  _ out. _ Or maybe he was, and it was just being in love with a Muggleborn Gryffindor that was the secret.

“Macdonald confirmed it for us. And we’ve got some people we suspect.”

“Isaac, you’re on here,” Max said. “With a question mark next to your name, but still.”

“I’m  _ straight,” _ Isaac said.

“You spend too much time around gay people to not have that be a big question mark,” Sirius said with a grin. “Cresswell’s on there too, for the same reason.”

“And yet James Potter isn’t on here at all,” Regulus said, scanning the list for his name and not seeing it. “Or Pettigrew.”

“Reg, you lived with James for two weeks. You know how painfully hetero he is.”

_ “I’m _ on there and Potter and Pettigrew  _ aren’t?” _ Isaac asked. 

“I’ll add them if that’ll make you feel better.”

“Lupin isn’t on here, either,” Regulus said. “Is there something you want to tell me? Because I’m  _ pretty sure _ Lupin’s bisexual.”

Sirius actually blushed. “W-well, this is a list of people for  _ you. _ ”

“Crouch is on here,” Regulus said. “And Rosier, who you’ve made it  _ abundantly  _ clear you disapprove of me even  _ speaking _ to.”

“Fine, I’ll add Remus, too. We haven’t shagged.”

“It must  _ pain _ you to admit that,” Regulus said.

“Piss off,” Sirius said.

“I think it actually  _ does _ pain him to admit it, Reg,” Max said.

“He thinks I don’t know that he spent all of last year sneaking around with Evans,” Sirius said. “When  _ everyone _ knew it.”

“No,” Regulus said. “No talking about Lupin and Lily. I had enough of that to last a lifetime in second year. If you want to be with him so badly, just ask him out.”

“You’re one to talk,” Sirius groused.

“Excuse me?”

“What do the dashes and crosses next to the names mean?” Max asked before Sirius could explain himself. If Regulus didn’t know better, he’d think it intentional on Max’s part.

“Crosses are gay, dashes are bisexual, and question marks are people at least one of us says we’re pretty sure aren’t straight.”

“Again,” Isaac said. “I  _ am _ straight. And I’m telling you that, and it’s not even the first time I’ve told you.”

Sirius shrugged. Regulus rolled his eyes, dug a quill and some black ink out of his bag, and crossed off Isaac’s name. “There. Now you’re not on it anymore. And I’ll add Lupin, for good measure.” Which he did.

“Thank you,” Isaac said.

“It doesn’t bother you that someone thinks you’re not straight, does it?” Max asked.

“It doesn’t bother me that  _ someone _ thinks I’m not straight, no,” Isaac said. “It bothers me that  _ Sirius, _ knowing I’m straight, because I’ve  _ told him _ before, put my name on a list of gay and bisexual blokes because someone  _ else _ suggested it.”

Max hummed. “I think the whole list thing is a stupid idea, anyway.”

“Excuse you,” Sirius said. “I put hard work into this, Scamander!”

“No offense, but you haven’t exactly got good taste, and you’ve put Crouch and Rosier on there.”

“Really, I could’ve stopped after the first two,” Sirius said.

“Corner’s already asked me out – again – and I’ve already turned him down – again – because I’m not interested,” Regulus said. He didn’t address Max’s inclusion on the list, because that was  _ Max, _ and it was different, with him.

“It’s probably a bad idea to date a teammate as Quidditch captain, anyway,” Isaac said.

“That, too,” Regulus said. “Do I want to know why the only Gryffindor on this list  _ besides _ Lupin is a seventh year?”

Sirius shrugged. “It’s blokes I  _ haven’t _ shagged.” 

“Does that mean you’ve shagged Nigel Gallagher?” 

“Well,” Sirius said, “I used a loose definition of  _ shagged, _ for this list, at least. We fooled around a bit toward the end of last year. Why? Are you interested in him?”

Regulus shook his head. “No. I just didn’t think he’d be willing to shag a Pureblood, let alone a Black.” He  _ certainly _ wasn’t budging where Gus was concerned.

Sirius winked. “I can be  _ very _ charming, Reggie.”

Regulus snorted and rolled his eyes. “Sure.”

“I can!” Sirius insisted. “I’m also a Gryffindor, which I think helped my case, but I didn’t  _ date _ him, or anything, so who’s to say? I  _ have _ sort of at least fooled around with most of the gay and bi blokes in Gryffindor. The list is mostly Ravenclaws and Slytherins, because I really don’t tend to go for either swotts or snakes.”

Regulus scoffed. “You don’t think Lupin’s a swot?”

“He’s my friend,” Sirius said. “It’s different. Besides, it’s not as if I want to  _ date _ anyone who’s  _ stupid. _ I’m cleverer than I look, you know.”

“We know,” Regulus said. “All of us. Trust me.”

* * *

“You’re not actually going to use that thing, are you?” Isaac asked that night as they revised for Potions in their dormitory.

“What? That list Sirius made?” Regulus asked.

“Yeah.”

He glanced over at Max’s bed, but Max seemed absorbed in his reading. It was probably an act. “Of course not.”

“Are you still going to keep shagging Rosier, then?” Max asked. Definitely an act.

“I’ve never  _ shagged _ Rosier,” Regulus said, feeling defensive in spite of himself. He hadn’t even talked to Evan since he’d said Max’s name.

“The worst thing is I think I actually  _ get _ it,” Isaac said, pulling a face.

_ “What?”  _ Max snapped, sitting straight up. 

“Get what?” Regulus asked. Surely he didn’t mean that ridiculous list Sirius had drawn up.

“The Rosier thing,” Isaac said carefully. “I think I get it.”

_ “You, _ of all people?” Max asked. “Isaac ‘My Mum Is A Muggleborn And I Was Practically Raised By Muggles’ Goldstein?”

“You  _ know _ my middle name is Chayim,” Isaac said. “But yeah. I think I get it.”

“He’s a racist,” Max said.

“I’m not saying  _ I’d _ snog him,” Isaac said. “But I get why Reg’s been.”

“What’s to  _ get?”  _ Max asked.

“A few things. First of all, Rosier is – well, he’s objectively a good-looking bloke, if you go for haughty and full of himself. He’s known Reg as long as you and I have known each other.”

“Not as well, though,” Regulus said.

“Well, no, but he’s  _ familiar. _ And he’s off-limits, because you’ve been disowned, and he’s not about to let himself get disowned. And – loads of girls think he’s charming, and I’m not even sure he’s trying, then.”

“He fancies girls, too,” Regulus said. “He told me.”

“Sure,” Isaac said. “But mate, he’s in love with you. Which is another thing.”

“He’s not – he’s not in love with me,” Regulus said.

“He is,” Max said. “And who could blame him, really?” 

What exactly did Max mean by  _ that? _ But before Regulus could ask, Isaac continued, “Anyway, he’s made it clear he’s interested in you, it’s got to be secret, anyway, or else  _ he’ll _ be disowned, which means you can’t let yourself panic about it like you would a  _ real _ relationship. So all of that sort of – comes together, and… yeah. I get it.”

“I cannot believe you,” Max said. “Are you actually – defending this?”

“God, no,” Isaac said. “Rosier’s a racist twat and probably a Death Eater in training, and I wouldn’t touch him with a ten-foot pole. But I can see why that arrangement would appeal to Reg. How long’s it been going on, anyway?”

Regulus shrugged. He looked pointedly at his textbook as he said, “Since about the middle of October.”

“It’s – it’s nearly March,” Max said.

“I know,” Regulus said. He could  _ hear _ the hurt in Max’s voice, and it was almost too much. But it wasn’t as if he’d have been able to do the same with  _ Max, _ and he still didn’t think he was ready for a  _ relationship. _

“You didn’t  _ tell us?” _

“Like Isaac said, he’s a racist twat. It’s really all just – a combination of stress relief and practise for a real relationship, anyway.”

“I think any bloke worth anything wouldn’t mind if you hadn’t had  _ practise,” _ Max said.

Regulus shrugged. “It’s not as if I’m going to keep at it when people  _ know.” _ Evan had been obnoxious enough as it was. He trusted his friends to keep their mouths shut, and mostly trusted Sirius to do the same, but people  _ knowing _ spoiled it, somehow.

Besides, Isaac really was right: Evan  _ was _ a racist twat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most likely, there will not be a new chapter until January, as I'll be out of the country, though I may potentially post one next week before I leave.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isaac has a crush, and Regulus has a problem

“I think I’ve got a problem,” Isaac said one Saturday afternoon. Max was revising in the library, and Regulus felt his absence like an ache. He hadn’t even asked if Regulus wanted to come along.

“What sort of problem?” Regulus asked.

“I think I sort of fancy two girls at once?”

Regulus sighed. “Lily and who else?”

“Mary Macdonald,” Isaac said. 

“I thought you said she was Scottish.”

“Well, she is,” Isaac said. “But that’s not a – bad thing. Not inherently. David’s fiancée is Scottish, and she’s lovely.”

Regulus rolled his eyes. “If you don’t end up marrying a Muggleborn, I don’t know what you’ll do.”

“Well, it’s not as if I can talk about Doctor Who with you and Max.”

“Doctor what?”

“Doctor Who,” Isaac said. “It’s a television programme. I used to – watch it at my Bubbe and Zeyde’s growing up, and my cousin Ruthie still has me round to watch it on holiday.”

“Really, Isaac, why are you even in Muggle Studies?”

“I thought a wizarding perspective on Muggle culture could be interesting. I mean – my dad’s a Half-Blood, too, but – electricity and the telephone aren’t  _ new _ to him, either. His mum’s a Muggle, not a Muggleborn, like Mum.”

Regulus knew just what Max would do if he were there: accuse Isaac, who evidently had three, not two, Muggle grandparents, of only taking Muggle Studies because he secretly fancied Sirius, who claimed it as the only class at Hogwarts worth anything. But Regulus knew better than to say that (even if he wasn’t quite convinced that it was  _ untrue). _

“I know Lily’s not interested,” Isaac said. “You haven’t got to try to let me down easy on that; she’s still – has she ever  _ admitted _ she dated Lupin all last year?”

“What?” Regulus asked. He’d thought Sirius had been being dramatic when he’d insisted on the same. But Isaac was pretty rational, so if  _ he _ was saying it… 

“Lily,” Isaac said. “She dated Lupin in secret all last year. It was sort of obvious.”

“I – really? I didn’t even notice. Although, now that you mention it, Lupin  _ did _ seem sort of – down this summer when he visited Sirius at Potter’s.”

“Maybe it was because they broke up. Not that I’d really know – I have absolute shit luck with girls. And I can’t really say I blame them.”

Regulus frowned. “What d’you mean by  _ that?” _

Isaac gestured to himself. “I’m a short, pudgy Half-Blood Jew.”

“You’re a Jewish Half-Blood, I’ll grant you that,” Regulus said, “but that’s no reason not to date someone, and the rest of it – it’s bollocks. You’re really  _ not _ short; Max is just tall, and I wouldn’t call you pudgy, either – I think you’re average in that; it’s just that Max and I both are really quite skinny. Not that being bigger would make you less attractive, because that’s bollocks.”

“You’re not going to pull a Max and start talking about how gorgeous I am and how any girl would be lucky to have me, are you? Because I can barely stand it from  _ him, _ and that’s  _ Max.” _

“Merlin, no,” Regulus said. “Although Mary did say you and Max were both cute. And Selwyn asked me if I fancied you.”

“Okay, we’ll return to the Selwyn bit in just a moment – Mary said I was  _ cute?” _ Isaac asked.

“Yeah,” Regulus said. “‘Cute and Jewish’ were her exact words.”

“‘Cute  _ and _ Jewish’? Not ‘cute  _ but _ Jewish’? She definitely said  _ and?” _

“Yeah,” Regulus said. “Although Selwyn is very close with her and for some reason thinks I fancy you, so – I should probably make it clear to her that I  _ don’t _ before you try to ask her out.”

Isaac snorted. “Between us, you’re sure Selwyn didn’t confuse me for  _ Max?” _

Regulus didn’t deny fancying Max, because, well, he was sure that Isaac knew it by now. “Yeah,” he said. “Which is the strange thing.”

“He might be the only one in the school who thinks you’re  _ not _ dating Max. Well, except for me. And Miri, probably. Max has made it pretty clear to her, I think.”

“I – I haven’t seen Max in weeks,” Regulus said. “Not properly. He’s asleep when I leave for Quidditch practise, he keeps sitting next to you in class, he doesn’t come down to the Great Hall for dinner, and – he’s either asleep before I get in at night or he comes in after I’m asleep.”

Isaac looked mildly pained. “He’s still upset about the Rosier thing. I’ve tried to talk sense into him, but he won’t listen to me.”

“Why does he get like this?” Regulus asked. “Whenever I upset him, he just shuts me out!”

“He’s not very good at communicating when he’s got a problem,” Isaac said. “He’s got this pathological avoidance of conflict, and he can be very – passive-aggressive, if you haven’t noticed.”

“I’ve noticed,” Regulus said.

“Honestly, he hasn’t got any real right to be upset about it – it’s not as if you’re dating, and it’s not even as if he asked you out and you turned him down for Rosier. Because – let’s be honest, Reg, you’d  _ never _ turn him down.”

“I – I wouldn’t,” Regulus said. He ran a hand through his hair. “How d’you think I can make it up to him?”

“Short of agreeing to marry him?”

“Isaac – stop. Max – he doesn’t want to marry me. I just want my friend back, all right?”

Isaac sighed. “He’s weak for grand gestures. I’d offer to help, but you know I’m no good at all that. All  _ I _ can say is that reassuring him that you love him no matter what happens can’t hurt.”

“If I can manage to catch him alone, anyway.”

“You know he loves you. He’s just – overwhelmed, I think.”

* * *

“You seem out of it,” Martin Corner said halfway through Quidditch practise.

“I’m fine,” Regulus said.

“You don’t  _ seem _ fine.”

“I am,” Regulus said. “And we’ve got to kick Slytherin’s arse, or Selwyn will never let me hear the end of it. And I’ll probably get a Howler from Prewett.”

“Probably,” Corner agreed. “Well, if there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.”

“I’m fine,” Regulus said. “I appreciate the concern, really, but I’m fine. Why don’t we try that pass again – Slytherin’s beaters are nasty, and their Chasers have all got Nimbuses.”

Martin winked. “You’ve got it, Captain.”

Regulus didn’t know why his own best friend wouldn’t talk to him, but Martin Corner couldn’t seem to help himself from flirting with him. Regulus flew over to help Davies, the Keeper. Corner could handle his own – he was a good player, and listened to all of Regulus’s instructions. Davies, on the other hand, needed the help.

And then Regulus would figure out how to resolve the Max Problem because this was interfering with  _ everything _ now, and he really wasn’t convinced that Prewett  _ wouldn’t _ send him a Howler if he didn’t beat Slytherin. And Rosier would probably feel like he had something to prove after the way Regulus left things. They needed to be in top form for this match.

* * *

He knew, as prefect, he really shouldn’t be monopolising one of the desks in the common room to write a personal letter to his uncle on a school night, as it was probably not quite the  _ right _ thing to do, but people would leave him alone if he was writing in the common room – it looked enough like he was writing an essay, anyway.

The first letter was simple: an order form for Honeydukes, requesting seven bars of their best chocolate, to be paid from his extremely modest personal vault at Gringotts (he was glad he’d always saved a bit of the spending money his parents had given him, because he’d feel more than a bit bad if he were paying for this out of the allowance Newt and Tina gave him).

The second letter, however, was to his uncle.

He hadn’t  _ really _ written Alphard much except to say that he was okay, and that his friends loved and supported him, and he wasn’t facing much bullying after his mother had outed him to the whole school – it was easier to keep up regular correspondence with Cissa, because she never wanted to talk about anything serious.

This, however, was something he needed Alphard’s help with. Or, rather, Cassius Warbeck’s.

> _ Dear Uncle Alphard, _
> 
> _ I’m sorry that I haven’t written in a while. As I’m sure you’re aware, fifth year is full of preparing for OWLs, and when I’ve got prefect duties  _ _ and _ _ I’m Quidditch captain on top of that ( _ _ and _ _ Slughorn still expects me at Slug Club), sometimes it feels as if I haven’t got the time to breathe. But things are going well. _
> 
> _ Well, mostly. _
> 
> _ You can probably guess the details, but suffice to say that my friend Max is angry with me. I made a mistake, and Sirius got involved (meaning well, I’m sure), and now Max hasn’t spoken to me for two weeks. I’ve tried to get him to talk to me, but he’s become an expert at avoiding me. I plan to enlist Sirius’s help in getting him to  _ _ talk _ _ to me, because he owes me for his part in this, but I know Max loves grand gestures, and I know he  _ _ really _ _ loves your novels. (He told me once he’d written you a fan letter when he was younger, and I suspect it had something to do with Castor – and Dorian, at that point – being sympathetic gay characters, but he hasn’t ever told me or Isaac the details). _
> 
> _ I know it’s a lot to ask, but would you mind writing him something? A letter, or a note in a book?  _ _ Black as Night _ _ is his favourite. Castor is his favorite character, but he also really likes Patroclus, as I told you at Cissa’s wedding. Patroclus is actually his middle name, which I think has got something to do with it (or maybe it’s because he used to fancy James Potter when he was six). _
> 
> _ Every other grand gesture I can think of is probably too dangerous or reckless or wouldn’t be in time for hols, so I really don’t know what else to do. _
> 
> _ Besides everything with Max, school is going fine. I’ve actually somehow managed to make  _ _ more _ _ friends, and Sirius usually doesn’t bother me, but he’ll say hello when we see each other. I sort of prefer it that way – Sirius is a lot to handle. _
> 
> _ Your loving nephew, _
> 
> _ Regulus Arcturus Black _

Once he was satisfied with his letter, he addressed them both and sealed them, and went off to the owlery. The sooner they got sent, the sooner he could make things right with Max.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The question now is how will Max react to all of this?


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus hears back from his uncle.

Regulus expected his uncle to deliberate, or take some time before replying to his letter. He did  _ not _ expect to get two packages delivered two days after he sent off his letters. Isaac raised an eyebrow.

“For Max,” Regulus said. Max was – well, nowhere to be seen, really.

“He’s the one who’s overreacting,” Emmeline said. “I don’t know why you’re getting  _ him _ anything.”

“Because he’s my best friend, and I love him, and he only gets like this when I’ve done something exceptionally stupid to hurt him more than he’s willing to talk about – and for Max, that’s a lot.”

“I mean,” Isaac said, “he’s not  _ wrong. _ Last time this happened, it was because Reg insisted Sirius  _ couldn’t _ be gay because he  _ knew _ him, and some other – mildly to moderately homophobic things. To Max. Who is, y’know. Gay.”

“I was comparing Sirius to myself,” Regulus said. “And we all know I had issues to work through.”

“While that’s true,” Emmeline said, “I hardly think ‘snogging someone Max disapproves of’ is on the same level.”

“Maybe not,” Regulus said, “But I’ve got to try.”

He brought everything up to his dormitory after breakfast, and looked through it during his free period. The Honeydukes package was all in order, and Uncle Alphard had sent a letter for Regulus, a letter for Max (with a seal that read ‘ _ Cassius Warbeck’, _ and  _ not _ ‘ _ Toujours Pur’ _ ), and a copy of  _ Black as Night. _ Regulus opened the book to find a very long inscription. He skimmed it, and was relieved to see that it’d been signed  _ Cassius Warbeck _ and not  _ Alphard Black, _ because Regulus didn’t want to have  _ that _ discussion with Max quite yet.

He packed the chocolate, the book, and Max’s letter in one of the boxes, and transfigured some wrapping paper out of the rest of the packaging. Then he wrapped it, put it securely in his trunk under some books, and skimmed the letter his uncle had written him. There was no mention of him being Cassius Warbeck, of course, but Alphard  _ did _ express his gratitude that Regulus was doing okay, and that he was doing all of this for someone as good as Max. 

* * *

Regulus caught his brother after dinner that night. “I need to see your map.”

“What map?” Sirius asked, trying his best to look innocent, which was really just sort of pathetic.

“The secret map you’ve got of the whole school that you and Potter use to break school rules. The one that shows where everyone in the castle is at any given moment.”

“Even if I  _ had _ such a map – which I  _ don’t  _ – why would I let my  _ prefect _ baby brother use it?”

“Because I need to talk to Max and – I haven’t really seen him since – just after you came up with that list. Isaac said he’s avoiding me, and I  _ can’t _ focus on my OWLs when one of my best friends is – avoiding me.”

Sirius heaved a sigh. “I’ll go with you. I’m  _ not _ telling you how to work it, but – you’re lucky I love you. We’ll borrow Prongs’s cloak.”

“I think that’s the first time you’ve told me you loved me since we were children.”

“Well, I fucking love you, you swot. All right?”

“All right,” Regulus said. “And thank you. I love you too, you know.”

Sirius pulled a face. “No need to get all emotional.”

* * *

The following afternoon, they found Max in the kitchens. He was alone, and it looked like he was actually revising. All of it made Regulus feel uncomfortable. He’d never known Max to enjoy spending time alone, and he’d  _ never _ seen Max revise. Not  _ properly, _ anyway.

Sirius threw off the cloak and said, “I’m going to talk to the Elves and get us some snacks.”

Max looked up. The look of panic across his features was unmistakable. “Reg!” he said after a moment. “What – what are you doing here?”

Sirius spoke before Regulus could. “He looked depressed, so I thought it was my duty as big brother to feed him.” The map, Regulus noted, was long stashed. Good. That was actually probably better than telling Max outright that he’d been looking for him.

“Then what’s with the cloak?” Max asked.

“Students aren’t technically ‘allowed’ in the kitchens,” Sirius said, rolling his eyes dramatically.

“Well,” Max said, starting to gather his things. “I was just getting ready to go back to Ravenclaw Tower.”

It was a blatant lie, and Regulus couldn’t stand it. “Wait!”

Max stopped and looked at him. “What is it?”

“I’ve – been trying to talk to you for weeks.”

“Reg, I’m trying to revise. Can we talk tonight?”

“You’ve been avoiding me for  _ weeks.” _

“I haven’t.”

“Max,  _ please.” _ He heard his voice break a bit on the last word, and Merlin, he was  _ not _ going to start crying in front of  _ Sirius. _ There were  _ boundaries _ to that sort of thing.

Max looked from Regulus to Sirius and then to his textbooks. “Fine. But back in the dormitory. We can walk together.”

“A-all right,” Regulus said. 

He waited for Max to finish gathering his things and followed him in silence all the way back up to Ravenclaw Tower. This wasn’t right. Max  _ rarely _ got silent. 

They went straight to their dormitory, which was, mercifully, empty. Max dumped his textbooks on his bed and started going through his trunk. “You’ve got five minutes while I get my Charms textbook.”

“Max,” Regulus pleaded. “Look, I understand you’re upset about – about the Rosier thing, and I’m sorry! Really! You  _ know _ I love you more than anything, and I can’t – I can’t focus on  _ anything _ when you’re angry with me like this. It was stupid –  _ I _ was stupid! – and he’s an arsehole and it was – Max, you  _ know _ it was just physical! It didn’t  _ mean _ anything! I  _ know _ –  _ believe _ me – that he’s a racist purist prick, and I’d never actually –  _ date _ him, or anything!”

“Reg, that’s really not the point,” Max said. “And I’m not – I’m not  _ angry.” _

If Max  _ wasn’t _ angry, then that meant that he was avoiding Regulus because he was  _ hurt, _ and that made everything a million times worse. “Then what  _ is  _ the point? Help me understand, because I’ve obviously hurt you, and it kills me.”

Max took a deep breath. “I… I guess I sort of thought that…”

Regulus waited for him to finish, but when it became clear that he wasn’t going to, he prompted, “What?”

“You said… you said that – you didn’t want to kiss me just because I was gay and – there, but – then you say that that’s the whole reason you’ve been sneaking around with Rosier!”

Was it really that simple? Max was concerned that this meant that their kiss ( _ kisses, _ really) hadn’t meant anything? Could he have been wrong all along? Did Max actually fancy him, too? But no – he couldn’t think too much about that. He had to worry about the matter at hand.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean anything about  _ you _ – everything I said about you is true! Max, you’re – you’re my best friend. Of course it meant something when I kissed  _ you. _ But I’m  _ really _ not ready for a boyfriend, even now, and – I’m sorry. I should have made that clearer. Rosier isn’t the sort of bloke you date –  _ you’re _ the sort of bloke you date – and it didn’t occur to me to ask if you’d want to snog me in broom cupboards and abandoned classrooms because – you deserve so much more than that, and I’m just – I’m not ready for a boyfriend, and I’m sorry.”

“Oh,” Max said.

“Actually, if you’d just – wait another minute or two, I’ve got something for you.” Regulus shuffled through his trunk and came away with a wrapped package –  _ the _ package. He handed it over to Max.

“What is this?” Max asked.

“To make up for being such an arse and not – talking to you about it and making it clear how much you mean to me.”

Max didn’t look too sure about it, but Regulus knew he couldn’t resist a gift. After a few seconds, he sighed and opened it.

“You’re going to have do a bit better than Honeydukes chocolate,” Max said.

“There’s more than just that.”

Max upended the box over his bed. The book fell onto the bed with a thud, and Max picked it up. “I already have this one. You know that.”

“I know,” Regulus said. “Open it. And there’s an envelope, too.”

Max rolled his eyes and opened the book. Regulus had looked at what his uncle had written, and he hoped it’d be enough for Max to forgive him.

“Reg, what the  _ fuck?” _

“I – wrote him, Warbeck, and – I asked him if he’d – sign a book for you. I mean, I told him a bit about you, but…”

“He – he says he remembers my letter and – and  _ he’s _ gay?”

“Apparently,” Regulus said. “The, er, envelope came with it, too, but I obviously didn’t open it.”

Max shut the book and set it on his bed. He tore open the envelope and read the letter.

“Holy  _ fuck, _ Reg!”

“What?”

“Read this!” Max shoved the letter in his face and pointed to one paragraph in particular.

_ I wrote the episode between Castor and Dorian in the Astronomy Tower after a similarly humiliating incident regarding the man I love. There were many similarities between our relationship and the one between Castor and Dorian, and it seemed, at the time, to be a fitting end for the couple. Castor was always intended to marry a witch, have children, and carry on his family line – and be miserable doing it – however, recent events have made it clear that continuing the family line is  _ _ not _ _ always of the utmost importance, and that one can find love in unexpected places – and I’m not talking about with a woman. For that reason, I rather suspect Castor will find himself in the company of a man equally willing to forsake his family’s expectations for him – namely, a certain P. Potter, with whom I imagine he will find himself very well-matched. _

“Oh,” Regulus said. His uncle hadn’t told him  _ that. _

“What the  _ fuck?” _

“I dunno,” Regulus said. “That’s – that’s incredible, Max!”

“He’s included an excerpt!” Max said, shuffling through the papers. “We have to read it together!”

So they did. And Regulus really didn’t think that Patroclus Potter’s similarities with Max were a coincidence. But he wasn’t about to tell Max that. Not yet, anyway.

“I’m sorry for being such a dickhead,” Max said.

_ “I’m _ sorry for being such a dickhead,” Regulus said.

“Call it even?”

“All right.”

Max then did something that surprised Regulus entirely – he leaned in and kissed him quickly and chastely on the lips. Regulus felt his stomach flip and had half a mind to kiss him back when Max jumped up.

“I was serious about revising – I can’t rely on OWLs being like every other exam. But if you’d like to revise with me, it  _ does _ look like a lovely day outside.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can read Cassius Warbeck's excerpt [here](https://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/post/190288802891/cassius-warbecks-excerpt) (update 21.01.20: link fixed!)  
I also set up a survey for what'll happen after seventh year (namely, a potential vacation / holiday fic), which you can take [here](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/VZP8KDK)!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus celebrates Passover with the Scamanders

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a bit of French in this chapter, but I don't think translations are super necessary to understand what's going on. The gist of it is noted in the end notes.

It wasn’t his first Passover with the Scamanders (rather, it was his third), but it was the first one since he’d moved in, and, really, Regulus was just grateful that Max was talking to him again. 

He decided to help prepare food rather than watch the kids. Max made a big show of complaining about that, but he kissed Regulus on the cheek, so Regulus didn’t think he was too bothered by it. Newt and Tina were grateful for the help in the kitchen, though Regulus really just did whatever he was asked. 

Jacob and Shira were, apparently, having their own Seder the following night, and made sure to invite Regulus as they all cooked.

“My brother and father are coming,” Shira said. “So the food will be more like what I ate at Seder growing up. Sephardi and Arab.”

“It’ll be a bit more traditional than you’re used to, too,” Jacob said, “but I’ve invited some friends, and… Max will _ definitely _ make a scene if you’re not there.”

Regulus was more than a bit surprised by Jacob’s assertion. Not that Max would make a scene – it was _ Max; _ he seemed to enjoy making scenes – but that he had any sort of effect on Max’s behaviour whatsoever. He didn’t want to voice that thought, though, because he was afraid of what Max’s family would say. “I’m not sure how much of a deterrent I’ll be,” Regulus said instead, “but I’d love to come.”

“Wonderful,” Shira said. 

The first night Seder passed without incident, and Regulus almost felt like he was a _ part _ of the Scamanders’ family. But that was ridiculous. Max was his best friend in the whole world, and Regulus was stupid enough to be completely mad for his _ best friend, _ and Newt and Tina were simply very good people.

They were kind, but they didn’t really consider him family. He knew better than to think that they did.

* * *

They Flooed to Jacob and Shira’s house; Regulus hadn’t been there since the night he and Sirius had run away, and he hadn’t really had much of a chance to look around then. The terrace house was tidy and modern, and the parlour was full of photos of Jacob, Shira, their children, Max, Newt, and Tina. One picture in particular caught Regulus’s attention: it was the entire Scamander family at Max’s bar mitzvah. They all looked so _ happy. _

“The one next to it’s Jake’s bar mitzvah,” Max said. “Only I wasn’t born yet. So I’m not in it.”

Regulus looked at it, and had to do a double take. “He looked just like you,” he said.

“Only with darker hair and brown eyes, yeah,” Max said. He grinned. “I’ve been told. So – at least if that keeps up, we know I’ll still be gorgeous in fourteen years.”

“I’m sure you will,” Regulus said. 

“You’ll be there to see it,” Max said. “So I’m making it _ your _ responsibility to tell me the second I stop being gorgeous.”

Regulus seriously doubted that would ever happen, but he knew better than to say that out loud. “Do you think you’ll host your own Seders when you’re older?”

Max shrugged. “Not really. It’s a lot of effort, and worst case, I’m sure we can just crash Isaac’s.”

We? Did Max actually think they’d be _ together _ when they were Jacob’s age? In spite of his better judgement, and barely daring to hope, he said, “W-we?”

Max blushed. “W-well… I just meant that – you’re my best friend, and – and Jake’s invited _ his _ best friend! So we – I’m sure we’ll celebrate Passover together for years and years!”

Oh. Regulus cleared his throat, and hoped he didn’t look as crushed as he felt. “Right. Er. That’s – that’s what I’d thought.”

Shira came out into the parlour then and greeted Max and Regulus both with a hug. “Hello, ahava shelli! Come; Regulus, you haven’t met my brother or father, yet, have you?”

Regulus shook his head. “Not that I’m aware of.”

“I’ll introduce you. And I know they’re both eager to see you again, Max.”

They both followed Shira out to the kitchen, where an older man – though he didn’t look to be quite as old as Newt or Tina – was talking to Jacob in a language that Regulus assumed had to be Hebrew. It certainly wasn’t English or Yiddish.

“Papa, Max est arrivé – avec son ami.”

Regulus forced himself not to think too much about the implication of Shira using a possessive pronoun (that he and Max were _ together), _ and instead allowed himself to relax slightly. Hebrew was completely out of his depth, but French, he could manage. “Bonsoir, Monsieur Bendayan. Je m’appelle Regulus – ravi de faire votre connaissance.” He offered his hand to shake, and felt relieved when Shira’s father did just that.

“Shira, tu ne m’a dit pas qu’il peut parler français. Très heureux, Regulus.” André Bendayan was a shorter man, with white hair, olive skin, and dark brown eyes. His hands were rough and calloused, and there was something to his accent in French that Regulus couldn’t quite place. “L’Anglais n’est pas ma langue préférée, en fait.”

“Alors, je peux parler français. Il y a des années que je l’ai parlé souvent, mais… je ne crois pas que mon français est si mal.”

“Pas du tout,” André Bendayan said. “But I think – we should try to speak English tonight.”

“Tu peux parler français avec les enfants,” Shira said. “Jacob le parle pas très bien. Ils ont besoin de le pratiquer.”

“Bien sûr, ma princesse.”

“Shira,” Max said. “How many languages _ do _ you speak?”

Shira hummed, and seemed to need to think on it. She ticked off her fingers. “Six?”

“Six?” Max repeated. “I barely speak two.”

“Most people we know only know English,” Regulus said. 

“Dirk knows Welsh.”

“Yes, but _ he’s _ Welsh. I don’t think Emmeline speaks anything but English.”

“She’s in Ancient Runes, though, so she can translate those,” Max said. 

“Besides – two? You know English, Yiddish, and Hebrew – that’s three.”

Max shrugged. “I know enough Biblical Hebrew to get through a d’var torah, but – I haven’t really kept up with modern Hebrew like Jacob did, so I wouldn’t count that.”

“You know,” Shira said. “If you ever want to practise Hebrew – you can always ask me or Jacob. I’m sure Regulus would be happy to help with French, and you see him a lot more often than I do.”

Max squeezed Regulus’s hand. “If you’re not too busy with quidditch and prefect duties and OWLs.”

“I could try this summer?” Regulus said. “I dunno if I’m any good at teaching, though.”

“Rubbish,” Max said. “I always learn best when we revise together.”

Regulus didn’t think that had much to do with his own skills at teaching as much as it did with Max’s insistence that he didn’t need to pay attention in class. He was spared having to reply when a man walked into the kitchen. He looked young – younger than Shira and Jacob, anyway – and he was admittedly gorgeous, if not Regulus’s type at all. He was tall and lean with light brown skin, shaggy black hair (like those Muggle rock stars Sirius tried to emulate), and dark brown eyes.

“Shira, as tu plusieurs haggadot? Je ne crois pas que…” he asked, and he stopped short when he saw Regulus and Max. “Max! Hello!”

“Hello, Asher,” Max greeted. To Regulus, he said, “Shira’s brother.”

“I got that, thanks,” Regulus said. “Even if they _ didn’t _ look alike, I don’t think Jacob’s friends would just go about speaking French.”

“Ah, c’est son copain?” Asher asked Shira, eyeing Regulus, who was suddenly aware that he hadn’t let go of Max’s hand. He didn’t drop it then, either.

“Ouais,” Shira said. “Mais – il parle français.”

Did _ everyone _ think he was dating Max? He glanced at Max. Right. Yeah. No, probably. It wasn’t as if he really _ minded. _ It was just that, well, Max obviously deserved better than him, and Regulus didn’t want to risk their friendship. He wanted to ensure that Max would be in his life forever – dating him seemed like it’d lead to the opposite.

“Heureux de vous rencontrer,” Regulus said to Asher.

Asher rolled his eyes. “Je crois qu’on peut se tutoyer, n’est-ce pas? On est famille.”

“Er… moi, en plus?”

“Ouais…” Asher said. “T’es le copain de mon beau-frère. Et t’habites avec ses parents, donc, c’est clair.”

Regulus wondered if he should clarify that he and Max were just best friends – he didn’t think he was reading too much into the subtext of both Shira _ and _ Asher using possessive pronouns to refer to his relationship with Max. Fortunately, Shira saved him.

“T’es un sorcier, n’es tu pas? Fais combien des haggadot dont on a besoin.” 

“I really don’t understand what’s going on,” Max said. And, well, he wouldn’t. Not if he couldn’t understand French.

“Asher is asking for more haggadot instead of duplicating the ones we have,” Shira said. “Newt and Tina have some, but they’re quite a bit more – liberal than you or Papa would like.”

“I didn’t want to duplicate them if you had enough in the house,” Asher said, crossing his arms. “But I can make copies – it’s the ten of us, and just two of your friends, Jacob?”

“That’s right,” Jacob said. “Just Frank and Alice.”

“Jacob _ fancied _ Frank,” Max said to Regulus in a stage whisper. Jacob, who Regulus knew to be all too used to Max’s needling, didn’t acknowledge this.

“So I’ll make five more,” Asher said, ducking out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basically, regulus introduced himself to shira's father, who says english isn't his prefered language, regulus says his french is rusty.  
then regulus introduces himself to shira's brother, who tells him to use informal address bc they're family, regulus doesn't understand why, and asher says "you're my brother-in-law's friend [with a connotation that could mean boyfriend] and you live with his parents"   
and then the haggadot line.
> 
> also the survey listed in the last chapter is still open! feel free to give your input on where the trio should go on holiday after graduation!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus meets Frank and Alice

Regulus had been sequestered upstairs, in Gina’s room, with Max and the kids. Ostensibly, he was on babysitting duty, but really, as Jacob confided to Regulus, it was to keep Max out of trouble when his friends arrived. Which – much as Regulus sort of hated to admit it – made perfect sense. Max had a habit of intentionally making Jacob uncomfortable, especially around other people. 

Throw in that Max had already teased Jacob about having fancied this friend of his? Regulus couldn’t blame him for wanting Max upstairs when he arrived.

“So who are these friends?” Regulus asked as he let Gina paint his nails. It had become sort of tradition, and he really didn’t mind it. This time, she’d found a cheerful Hufflepuff yellow which clashed  _ horribly _ with his skin tone.

“Frank Longbottom and his fiancée. They’re both aurors; Frank went to school with Jacob.” Max leaned in, and for one whole ridiculous second, Regulus wondered if Max might kiss him. “Let me put it this way, because Gina’s too clever by half, and I  _ really _ don’t want her to start anything. Frank… was to Jake in school as… Remus is to your brother.”

“Oh,” Regulus said. That was a bit beyond fancying, if Regulus were honest, and he knew Max knew that.

“Yeah,” Max said. “They’re still friends, and Frank’s engaged to be married to a woman. I think her name is Alice? She’s nice. I’d probably peg her for an auror before I could Frank, though. You probably wouldn’t believe Frank’s an auror if you met him first.”

“Well,” Regulus said. “He  _ is _ Jacob’s friend.” He couldn’t see Jacob really being friends with someone who acted like a typical auror. Or, well, any of the Scamanders, really.

“Exactly why I doubt he’s straight,” Max said. “Jake doesn’t  _ have _ straight friends. But whenever I mention that to him, he gets all defensive about it.” He rolled his eyes. “You and I don’t have straight friends, either.”

“Isaac says he’s straight,” Regulus said, though he knew Max didn’t believe Isaac one bit when he said that. “And Mary, too.”

“Mary’s got a gay brother, though,” Max said. “So, like, that’s why all of her friends are gay or bi. It makes sense.”

“I suppose,” Regulus said. He knew how Max could get about this, so he tried to direct him toward something that  _ wasn’t _ speculating about their friends’ sexuality. “But what’s Frank like?”

Max shrugged. “Sort of gorgeous, actually. Like, a bit dweeby, but gorgeous in that sort of dweeby way. Like Isaac, you know?”

“Isaac would kill you if he knew you said that,” Regulus said. He was plenty self-conscious enough without knowing Max was calling him dweeby behind his back. Even if Max  _ had _ called him gorgeous. 

“I’m comparing him to a bloke Jacob – well. Considering Jacob and Frank’s history, Isaac ought to be  _ thrilled _ I’m comparing them.”

“I don’t think Isaac is dweeby,” Regulus said, changing the subject slightly. He wasn’t attracted to Isaac, personally, but he couldn’t deny that Isaac, though socially awkward and extremely shy, was  _ very _ good-looking. And it wasn’t even in a dweeby way. It was in a normal way. Sure, he was a bit chubby, but it suited him – and it didn’t make him look  _ dweeby. _

“Whatever,” Max said. “Maybe you’ve just got shit taste in men.”

Regulus snorted. “You’re mental if you think I’m interested in  _ Isaac _ like that.”

Max laughed and threw an arm around his shoulder. “Do you not like nice Jewish boys?”

“It’s got nothing to do with Isaac being  _ Jewish. _ Max,  _ you’re _ Jewish.” Too late, he realised what he’d said. Stupid! How could he just let something like that slip?

Max blushed and opened his mouth to say something – and then closed his mouth. Shit; had he just gone and ruined everything again? And everything had been going so well between them since his apology!

“I’m not interested in Isaac like that because he’s much too serious and pessimistic. I’ve got enough problems; I don’t need to be with someone with that sort of worldview. Not like that. I mean, he’s one of my best friends, and I love him – as a friend – but. No. Besides – I don’t really fancy dating anyone shorter than me. And he’s got anxiety, too, which would just make everything a big mess. Besides, he says he’s straight.” Regulus was aware that he’d overexplained himself, and he’d done nothing to really cover up his feelings for Max.

Fortunately, before Max could formulate a reply (and Regulus could only imagine what a reply it would be), there was a knock on the open door, and Gina cried, “Uncle Frank!”

Regulus turned to see a couple in the doorway: a tall man with brown hair, dark, heavy lidded eyes, and ears that sort of stuck out a bit, with a short blonde woman who had a round face with a bit of a pointy chin. He supposed he saw what Max meant by dweeby, but he really thought Frank Longbottom and his fiancée looked rather pleasant.

Frank caught Gina as she ran over to him, and picked her up in one fluid motion. “Gina! How’s my favourite big sister? I hope you’re being nice to your brother!”

“I am!” Gina said. “But  _ I’m _ still asking the Four Questions! Dad said so!”

“Well, that’s exciting,” Frank said. He turned his attention to Regulus and Max. “It’s good to see you again, Max. You remember Alice?”

“Yeah, hi,” Max said. “This is Reg.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” Regulus said. 

“Pleasure’s all mine,” Frank said. “Jacob’s told me loads about you – and Max has, too, of course.”

Regulus’s gaze flitted to Max, who was blushing. “Course I have,” Max said. “Anyway, look how big Rolf’s gotten!” He picked up his nephew and held him up for Frank and Alice to see.

* * *

Jacob greeted both Frank and Alice with a hug before they sat down for the Seder, which seemed a bit uncharacteristic, from what Regulus knew of him. But then Max was insistent that Jacob had been in love with Frank for years. Really, Regulus believed him. It was obvious that Jacob and Shira were  _ disgustingly _ in love, so Regulus didn’t think there was any point in fixating on Jacob’s easy affection with Frank. That, he knew, was where he and Max differed.

He sat between Max and Asher, and across from Alice. He was familiar enough with the Seder itself by now (especially since he’d just been to the Scamanders’ last night), and Jacob and Shira offered him wine with dinner.

There was a good deal more Hebrew (Frank and Alice seemed to be good sports about it, but they were obviously rather lost until Jacob took the time to explain each part), but what really caught Regulus’s attention was the  _ food. _

The food Max and Isaac’s families ate had seemed a bit strange and foreign at first (though he supposed the Scamanders moreso, with their lack of meat), but this was like nothing Regulus had ever seen before. There were so many vegetables, including some he didn’t think he’d eaten in his life.

“Before we eat, I should say that the purple dishes have kitniyot,” Shira said. Regulus had no idea what that meant, but evidently the Scamanders and Bendayans did, because there was some murmuring from them.

“That’s not fair,” Max said loudly. “We can’t eat kitniyot.”

Shira smiled. “I’m not Ashkenazi. I can eat all the kitniyot I want. As can Regulus, Frank, and Alice, because, well, they’re not Jewish.”

Max turned to Regulus, then. “Reg, you’d better not eat that in front of me. I’ll never forgive you.”

_ “Max,” _ Tina warned, giving Max a look Regulus had grown all too familiar with.

Regulus was sure that Max was just being dramatic, and didn’t mean it in the least. “I won’t; don’t worry.”

“You really shouldn’t encourage him,” Jacob said.

“Reg  _ adores _ me,” Max said.

“It’s not as if I do  _ everything _ he says,” Regulus said. At least not anymore. “But I don’t even know what kitniyot is.”

“It’s like, beans and legumes,” Max said. “And I really don’t care if you go off with Lily or Emmeline or Dirk or someone and eat a feast of bread and beans tomorrow, but, like, it’s Passover, and eating that in front of me is just too much. You  _ know _ I have poor impulse control.” 

“I know,” Regulus said. He probably shouldn’t have found it half as endearing as he did, but, well. It was Max. There was little about Max that he  _ didn’t _ find endearing in some way.

And then, as if the whole night hadn’t been strange enough, Max reached over and carded his fingers through Regulus’s hair – right in front of  _ everyone _ – and rested the palm of his hand on the back of Regulus’s neck. “I really don’t know what I’d do without you,” Max said. His voice was soft. Gentle.

It took every bit of self restraint and impulse control Regulus had not to kiss him in that moment. In front of everyone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be another brief hiatus for two weeks as I'll be on holiday (again; I know. Last time until July!)  
Posting will resume as scheduled on the 15th!


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus and his friends get some career advice and sit their OWLs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and we're back!

When they came back to Ravenclaw Tower after holidays, there were piles of career pamphlets as well as a notice posted that all fifth year students were required to meet with their Head of House about their career goals that very week.

“I already know I want to be a Healer,” Isaac said.  _ “And _ I know exactly what I need to do to get there. This is just a waste of time. It’ll take me out of Herbology.”

Regulus looked at his own meeting time. He’d be missing Transfiguration on Monday. “I  _ wish _ I could miss Herbology. Think Flitwick would mind if we switched appointment times?”

“Missing Transfiguration wouldn’t be any better,” Isaac said. He picked up a leaflet for the Healing program. “It says  _ right here _ that I’ll need E’s in NEWT-level Potions, Herbology, Transfiguration, Charms,  _ and _ Defense Against the Dark Arts. If I’ve  _ got _ to miss a class, why can’t it be Astronomy?”

“Because Astronomy’s at night after Flitwick’s probably gone to bed,” Max said. “I’ve got no earthly idea  _ what _ I want to do, and I don’t really see how Flitwick is going to help.”

Regulus really didn’t know what he wanted to do, either. He knew everyone expected him to play Quidditch, but there really wasn’t much long-term potential in Quidditch. But then… did he really need anything with long-term potential if Sirius was right about their parents leaving everything to them in the end, anyway?

Max picked up a leaflet at random. “Isaac, you could always work in Muggle Relations, instead; they want an OWL in Muggle Studies!” He skimmed it and then frowned. “Oh, but they want enthusiasm and a good sense of fun, so I guess you’re out.”

“Fuck you,” Isaac said, though there was no venom in his voice. “I’ve got plenty of enthusiasm and an  _ excellent _ sense of fun, thanks. I’m just not a reckless idiot.”

“If you say so,” Max said.

* * *

Regulus made it to his appointment with Professor Flitwick ten minutes early, and he wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself. He was the first of his friends to have his meeting – at least in Ravenclaw. Dirk had had his with Professor Sprout first thing in the morning, and come to Potions with more information on working in the Goblin Liaison Office as well as for Gringotts, and what courses he’d need to take to achieve that. Gus Selwyn, too, had already had his appointment today, although Regulus hadn't seen him since Ancient Runes that morning to ask. 

He felt nervous. What if he wasn't good enough for professional Quidditch? Did it even count as a proper career? Sure, Prewett had been scouted, but that was  _ Prewett _ . 

He barely looked up as Sally Howard, one of the Ravenclaw girls in his year, came out of Flitwick’s office. Regulus himself hadn’t been inside since he’d gotten in trouble for setting Crouch on fire – which didn’t do anything to ease his nerves.

“Flitwick said to tell you to go ahead if you were out here,” Sally said.

“Oh, er, thanks,” Regulus said.

“It really wasn’t anything to worry about,” she said. “Honestly.”

He knew that she was trying to reassure him, but, well, he worried about  _ everything, _ and even if he and Sally weren’t friends, he didn’t quite think it was a secret.

“Thanks,” he said anyway. He knocked on the door to Flitwick’s office, and heard him say to come in, so he opened the door. Professor Flitwick was sitting behind his desk, which was covered in neat piles of pamphlets, flyers, and files.

“Mr. Black! Welcome!” He open the topmost file. “Please, have a seat.”

Regulus sat down. “Hello, Professor.”

“How was your morning?”

Regulus fiddled with the hem of his sleeves. “It was fine,” he said. “I haven’t had Herbology today.”

“I wasn’t especially fond of the subject myself,” Flitwick said. 

“I’ll manage an OWL,” Regulus said. “But I think after this year, I’m done with it.”

“Have you given any thought to what you want to do for a career?” Flitwick asked. “That is, after all, the purpose of this meeting.”

“Well,” Regulus said, “my brother’s insistent that our parents will leave everything to us once they die, but that could be years off, and I’m not as convinced of it as he is.”

“Did you want to dedicate yourself to studying? You are a fantastic student, if I do say so myself – and I know my colleagues agree.”

“I… I dunno about that,” Regulus said. “I mean, I know I’m a good student, but I dunno if that’s what I want to do for the rest of my life. Maybe. But – I sort of thought…”

“Yes?”

He felt stupid saying it aloud, but – well, what was the harm? The worst Flitwick could do would be to urge him to be more practical and come up with a backup plan. “I think I’m – quite good at Quidditch, too.”

Flitwick, fortunately, picked up on what Regulus was trying to say. “Are you considering pursuing a career in Quidditch?”

“I dunno,” Regulus said, although the real answer was yes. “Maybe.”

“Professor Slughorn is rather more the expert in the sport than I, but from what I’ve seen – I believe that’s a fair option. The trick, as I understand, is attracting the attention of a recruiter.”

“That’s what I’ve heard, sir.”

“You are a member of Professor Slughorn’s Slug Club, are you not?”

Regulus nodded. “I am.”

Flitwick sat back a bit in his chair. “In that case, I would recommend asking him about it. He has connections in all corners of society – I’m certain a Quidditch recruiter is among them. Understandably, there isn’t a pamphlet for professional Quidditch – but I imagine most Quidditch teams don’t require a specific set of OWLs or NEWTs.”

“I don’t think so, sir,” Regulus said.

“Do you know what courses you’re intending on continuing with? Regardless of what you’d need to be on a professional Quidditch team, I think we can agree that a well-rounded education can only be an asset.”

“Well, I think… really everything  _ except _ Herbology. I know I should manage some free time to focus on Quidditch, but I honestly enjoy most of my classes – and I can always drop them later if they become too much, can’t I?”

“You can,” Flitwick said. “Although I would advise against overextending yourself. Are you managing well enough this year?”

“I think so,” Regulus said. “We like to work together, and Max makes games out of revising, so that makes it easier. And we’ve got a really good team this year. Honestly, I know it sounds a bit mad, but I’m nowhere near as stressed as I was last year, even with OWLs, and I know NEWT-level courses start next year, but – I’ll also have more free periods, and more experience at being a prefect and Quidditch captain.”

“If you need any help, you know you can always stop by my office hours.”

* * *

The Defense Against the Dark Arts OWL was tough, but, Regulus thought, it had  _ nothing _ on the Herbology OWL. At least he’d never have to take Herbology again – even if he thought Max’s insistence that he’d end up a famous Quidditch player was maybe not quite realistic, but  _ no _ career that he even had half a mind for would require  _ Herbology. _

He sat with Max and Isaac on an old blanket by the lake after the exam. Max was on one side, and Isaac sat opposite them.

“I never want to look at another roll of parchment or even  _ touch _ my wand again,” Max said, throwing himself down onto Regulus’s lap with a surprising amount of force.

_ “Ow?” _ Regulus said, swatting Max gently on the top of his head.

“Sorry, Reg,” Max said. “Love you. Isaac, you’re the resident Muggle expert. Think I could survive as a Muggle?”

“No,” Isaac said without even stopping to think, “I don’t.”

“Fuck you. I’ll ask Dirk.”

“Ask Dirk what?” Dirk asked. He sat down on Regulus’s other side. Emmeline was nowhere to be seen – Regulus didn’t ask where she was. She seemed to be more stressed about OWLs than anyone but Isaac.

“If I could survive as a Muggle.”

“He’s a bit overwhelmed with OWLs,” Regulus said, stroking Max’s hair. “But at least we’re nearly done. Just Transfiguration and Charms to go.”

“Max, you know Muggles haven’t got the Summoning Charm, or anything like it, don’t you?” Dirk asked. “I mean – there’s a lot of great things Muggles  _ have _ got that Wizards haven’t, but – I’ve seen you use the Summoning Charm for things that are  _ just _ out of arm’s reach, and Muggles haven’t got it at all.”

Max pulled a face. “All right, so I  _ won’t _ go off and live as a Muggle.”

“Good,” Regulus said. “Because I’d miss you. And  _ I _ couldn’t survive as a Muggle.”

“I’m not doing  _ anything _ without you, Reg,” Max said, and Regulus felt as if his heart would burst.

“Good,” he said.

“I mean,” Max said. “I really don’t need OWLs to be a trophy husband, anyway.”

_ Trophy husband? _ Regulus felt his heart start to pound in his chest. Surely Max didn’t mean… no. No matter how often Max insisted Regulus would end up a famous Quidditch player, he couldn’t possibly be referring to marrying  _ him. _

“But you’re gay,” Dirk said.

“Yeah?” Max said. “What of it?”

“You can’t – marry another man,” Dirk said.

“Since when?” Max asked.

“That’s Muggle law,” Isaac said. “Not Wizard law.”

“Muggles can’t get married?” Max asked.

“Muggles have laws which… prohibit two men or two women from marrying each other,” Isaac said. “But we haven’t.”

“How d’you know that if you’re straight?” Max asked.

“My cousin Ruthie’s a lesbian, and she can’t marry her girlfriend,” Isaac said. “Mum’s side of the family, you know.”

“But – two wizards can get married?” Dirk asked.

“Oh, yeah,” Max said. “Dad and Jacob both always thought they’d marry a wizard, but – they didn’t. But they could have. And I will. And so will Reg.” Max took Regulus’s free hand in his and kissed it.

Regulus didn’t say anything, because he knew if he did, there was a good chance he’d end up asking if Max intended on marrying  _ him, _ and that would definitely ruin the mood.

“Shame about the Quidditch Cup, though,” Isaac said after a moment.

Regulus shrugged. “We beat Slytherin, and that’s what matters, really.” Maybe betting on the outcome of the match with Gus Selwyn had been a little immoral, but Regulus was several Galleons richer, and had gotten to see Rosier and Crouch throwing fits over it, so it was worth it. That, and Prewett hadn’t sent him a Howler.

“But now Gryffindor will win the House Cup,” Isaac said. “And since Mary’s not here, I can say that that’s  _ bollocks, _ and it  _ cannot _ happen next year.”

“Then you and Max need to work on earning more House points, because  _ I’m _ doing  _ my _ part.”

“You  _ know _ Potter’s outfitted the whole Gryffindor team with Nimbuses.”

“Unless you’re volunteering to do the same for our team, there’s really not much we can do – except make sure that we’ve got the best possible team, and great strategies.”

“Besides,” Max said, “your boyfriend will graduate next year, so you’ve only got one more year of your one-sided competitions.”

“Whose boyfriend?” Isaac asked. 

“Yours?” Max said. “Sirius. Honestly, Isaac, why  _ do _ you get so competitive with crushes?”

“I haven’t  _ got _ a crush on Sirius.”

“Whatever you say,” Max said.

“I’m  _ straight,” _ Isaac said.

“All right,” Max said.

_ “Anyway,” _ Dirk said, “What’ve you lot got planned for the summer?”

“Oh, the usual,” Max said. “Seaside with Reg, annoy Isaac, probably throw Reg a surprise party.”

“It’s not a surprise party if I know about it.”

Max rolled his eyes and reached up to peck Regulus on the lips. That was still new – and Regulus still wasn’t  _ quite _ sure what it meant – but he felt himself blush all the same. “The surprise is  _ when.” _ He settled back into Regulus’s lap. “You’ll never know it’s coming.” Regulus stroked his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next week is the final chapter of year five!  
that means, as usual, we have a [anonymous round-up survey](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/8X7L5Y7), which will stay open for a month! though of course tumblr messages and comments are always open for feedback!


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Regulus packs to go home for summer - and for the first time, he's not dreading it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the [year end survey](https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/8X7L5Y7) is still open, so please use this opportunity to tell me what you think! it's only ten questions and will give me a better idea of what works and what i can improve on!

“This feels – strange,” Regulus said as he packed his last book up. It was the three of them alone in the dormitory, and the End of Term feast was just a few hours away. OWLs were over, the Quidditch season was over, and he was going to go back to the Scamanders’ with Max, and he felt – calm. For once.

“What does?” Max asked.

“Packing to leave for the summer and feeling – relieved? And actually – happy? And not, y’know, anxious and depressed and dreading every moment of it.”

Max hugged him tightly. “Well, get used to it, Reg. We’re gonna spend all summer together – and annoy Isaac when he’s  _ not _ on holiday.”

“Maybe I’ll even miss Max’s endless spam of letters,” Isaac said.

“Oh, I’ll still write,” Max said. “And I’ll make Reg write, too.”

Isaac rolled his eyes. “I’m sure you will.”

“Where are you going this year?” Regulus asked.

“America,” Isaac said. “Visiting some of Mum’s relatives in New York, I think. Probably touring MACUSA.”

“Muggle relatives?” Max asked.

“Yeah,” Isaac said. “We’re not really meant to use magic over hols, anyway, so it’s not like it’ll be  _ that _ difficult – and David and his fiancée aren’t going. So. That’ll be fun. Mum kvetching all summer about David’s goyische fiancée, without her or David there to, y’know, defend themselves.”

“So that situation hasn’t gotten any better?” Regulus asked.

Isaac shrugged. “She’s been talking to a rabbi about converting, and David says she’s properly – studying for it now. Not that I think she should  _ have _ to just to make Mum happy, but – Mum’s  _ really _ not happy.”

“You should marry a goy just to show him up,” Max said.

Isaac rolled his eyes. “Why would I do that? I don’t  _ want _ to marry a goy.”

“Oh, I know,” Max said. “You want to marry a nice Jewish girl and have Jewish kids and a house in Golders Green with mezuzos on every doorpost and a kosher kitchen and you’ll go to shul every Shabbos as a family – I know.”

“You say that all like it’s a bad thing,” Isaac said.

“It’s not,” Max said. “But you’re very predictable. And – honestly, do I have your permission to laugh if you marry a goy?”

“Fine, because it’s not going to happen,” Isaac said.

“And since it’s  _ not going to happen, _ what can I do if you marry a man?”

“Max, come on,” Regulus said. He didn’t know why Max always had to antagonize Isaac about this when Isaac was  _ clearly _ not comfortable with it. He’d have to talk to him.

“If I  _ marry a man,” _ Isaac said, “which I  _ won’t,  _ because I’m  _ straight, _ you can do whatever the hell you want.”

* * *

Regulus found a compartment with Max, Isaac, Emmeline, and Dirk on the train. Max had just let Thalia out of her carrier when there was a knock at the door, and Mary Macdonald poked her head in. Isaac, who had been trying to get Thalia’s attention, sat up straight. “Hi, Mary!”

“Hello, Isaac,” Mary said. “Have you got any plans for the summer?”

“Oi, are you just ignoring the rest of us, then?” Emmeline asked.

“Of course not,” Mary said.

“He’s going to America with his family this summer,” Max said. “Just on holiday – he’ll be back by Reg’s birthday party. And he hasn’t got any plans for the first Hogsmeade visit next year.”

“Max!” Isaac hissed. He turned to Mary. “He’s – well, you know Max; you’ve had classes with him for the past five years.”

“I  _ do _ know Max,” Mary said. “And I’d be happy to go to Reg’s party, but – how should I get there?”

“Oh,” Max said. “I didn’t think of that. Dirk came with Emmeline last year, and Lily took the Knight Bus.”

“You  _ really _ are living up to your blood traitor status, aren’t you?” Dirk asked.

“Absolutely,” Regulus said. “Why shouldn’t I? It’s no fun being just  _ gay; _ might as well be gay  _ and _ a blood traitor.”

“That’s definitely one philosophy,” Max said. He leaned over to rest his head on Regulus’s shoulder. “Reg, you smell nice.”

Regulus reached up and carded his fingers through Max’s hair. “Thanks,” he said. “Mary, you know, it’s no problem if it’s too much effort to come. I’m sure we could meet up when you go to Diagon Alley, or something.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Mary said. “And we’ll write each other, won’t we?”

“Yeah,” Regulus said. “Absolutely.”

Mary smiled. “Great! Now I should probably get back to my compartment before Nigel hexes Gus.”

Wait – what? “Nigel Gallagher and Gus Selwyn are in the same compartment?” Regulus asked. “Willingly?”

Mary laughed. “They are. And Lily and Marlene.”

“Sounds like you’re not the only proper Pureblood turning blood traitor, Reg,” Emmeline said.

“It’s really just a matter of whether or not Gus’s parents find out,” Mary said.

“I mean,” Regulus said, “The Selwyns aren’t the  _ Blacks, _ but – if I were him, I’d still wait until I was seventeen and out of school, if possible.” He remembered, after all, what Gus had said about his brother, who certainly wouldn’t take kindly to him having Muggleborn friends – let alone a Muggleborn boyfriend. 

Regulus felt a rush of affection for Sirius all at once; he might be annoying, and insistent that there was something  _ more _ between Regulus and Max than there actually was, but he was loyal and supportive. Sirius would also never take issue if Regulus  _ were _ to date a Muggleborn.

“All the same,” Mary said. “I’ll be getting back, and we’ll write.”

“Definitely,” Regulus said.

“And if I don’t see everyone at Reg’s birthday party, then have a wonderful summer, and I’ll see you all in September,” she said with a wave. Then she was gone.

“I can’t believe she knows who I am,” Isaac said.

“We  _ have _ got Defense Against the Dark Arts and Transfiguration with her,” Regulus said.

“I know, I know,” Isaac said. “But first-name basis!”

“Didn’t Gallagher shag your brother, Reg?” Max asked.

“Something like that, apparently,” Regulus said. “I try to know as little about Sirius’s sex life as possible.”

Dirk and Emmeline exchanged a look.

“Oh,” Regulus said, “Sirius – completely unsolicited, of course – prepared me a list of all the gay and bisexual blokes at Hogwarts he  _ hasn’t _ shagged or fooled around with. Because he thinks that’s the sort of thing I need. Mostly Ravenclaws and Slytherins. Gallagher wasn’t on there, so I asked.”

“Who – who  _ was _ on there?” Dirk asked.

Regulus shrugged. “I don’t remember everyone,” he said, although he  _ did _ remember that Dirk’s name was on there. “Sirius and his mates all came up with it – and Mary and Lily helped, for some reason.”

“I really  _ hope _ that was the two of them yelling at Sirius and James as they got more and more ridiculous,” Max said.

“Oh,  _ fuck, _ Mary  _ helped,” _ Isaac said.

Max rolled his eyes. “Calm down, Isaac. Everyone knows you fancy girls. And I do mean  _ everyone. _ Besides, Sirius didn’t list you as  _ gay, _ and more than anything, I’m sure it was to get a rise out of you – and it worked.”

_ “Isaac _ was on the list?” Dirk asked.

“Sirius had put some blokes on with question marks next to their name because he thinks it’s impossible to be straight and have mostly gay friends,” Regulus said. “But he didn’t put Potter and Pettigrew on it, so Max is probably right that it was to get a rise out of Isaac.”

“It was pretty extensive, though,” Max said. “And I’m surprised Fenwick was on there – not that we don’t all  _ know, _ but that Sirius hasn’t tried.”

“We don’t know that he hasn’t tried,” Regulus said. “Maybe Fenwick turned him down.”

Max took his head off of Regulus’s shoulder just long enough to peck him on the lips, and then he settled back in. “It’s cute that you think any bloke who’s remotely interested in other blokes could resist either you or Sirius.”

“Neither of you really seem to have any trouble finding blokes that’re interested,” Isaac said. “How many times has Corner asked you out, now?”

“Three,” Regulus said, “But  _ I’m _ not interested in _ him. _ And I think he’s finally come to terms with it.”

“Dunno why he’d want to date his Quidditch captain,” Isaac said. “That’s a recipe for disaster. For both of you.”

“Apparently people think you’ve got a thing going on with Selwyn,” Dirk said.

Regulus rolled his eyes. “Of course they do. I’m not interested in him like that, either.”

“Not your type?” Isaac teased, and, well – it was true. Gus Selwyn  _ wasn’t _ his type.

“One thing Sirius and I  _ have _ got in common is that we don’t want to date other Purebloods. We’ve both had enough of that culture for a lifetime – and Gus Selwyn’s the same way, really. It just nice to have someone to talk about all that with who  _ isn’t _ Sirius.”

“I can imagine,” Emmeline said. “Sirius is – a lot.”

“Exactly,” Regulus said.

“And just think, Reg,” Max said, “he and his friends can all apparate now – he’ll come round to drag you out at least a few times this summer.”

“A few times, I don’t think I’d mind,” Regulus said.  _ “All summer _ would be a different matter entirely. Besides – Max, you’re terrified of heights, and I  _ have _ got to practise this summer, and it’s always better to do that with others, even when that means Sirius and Potter.”

“I just can’t picture that,” Dirk said. “You playing a fair game with Sirius and Potter.”

“I didn’t say anything about fair,” Regulus said.

“I end up sitting on the lawn with Lupin and Pettigrew,” Max said. “I don’t really know anything about Quidditch, but I really don’t think they follow all the rules.”

“No point to it when there’s only three of us,” Regulus said.

Max reached for Regulus’s hand and laced their fingers together. It was strange how completely calm he felt – for the first time, he thought that he’d have a pleasant summer holiday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's it for year five!  
year six should be up in two weeks!

**Author's Note:**

> come visit me on [tumblr](https://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/) | [character guide](https://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/chars)
> 
> * * *
> 
> The year four survey results are available on my tumblr! [Here](https://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/post/187421298111/year-four-survey-results) are the analytics, and [here](https://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/post/187420754146/year-four-survey-qa) is the Q&A!  
Please feel free to join my [discord server](https://discord.gg/yb6bS3c)! It’s a general Harry Potter server, but I also thought it’d be nice to have a place to discuss Ravenclaw AU with y’all as well!


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